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Attack

 

We all encounter stormy seas in life

 

The theory and practice of the Connection Chronicles is to remove, as much as possible, any barriers between what God does and you, the reader.  God in a raw, unedited form is what I feel is relevant to Christians at this point in history.  For too long we have been fed what other people think we should know rather than simply receiving what God gives us.

Therefore, Esther and I allowing people to see our challanges along with our blessings. Everyone is attacked by the Devil at some point.  Even deep connections are sometimes battled and must fight for each other.

 

Prelude to Battle

 

Michael,

“Esther, I have been under spiritual attack today.  I don’t know why.  I wrote two posts, trashed one, and I am still not happy with the one I kept.  When I don’t feel right about about an essay, when I feel there’s too much of myself in it, I can’t post it.  Just feeling unstable at the moment. Funny, I had been feeling good though, because things went well in the natural today. Maybe after I sleep tonight I will feel better.”

Esther says,

“You know, maybe you shouldn’t trash anything when your feeling battled.  Maybe your feeling that way because things are going OK for a change?”

“Like me yesterday, I felt really pretty good and purely because I felt good I felt odd. I am so used to being on alert mode anything else feels alien to me.

I began my day in a panic because I washed my clothes but forgot to put them in the dryer, (hence gap in reply time because I was flapping about!) Going to bed earlier did not achieve much spiritually other than going to sleep! Albeit, something could have happened that I just do not remember. Maybe you should ask God to take care of your spirit while you sleep and give it some direction.”

 

The gathering storm

 

Michael,

“Yeah, this is sooo weird.  I’m Feeling better in my Spirit today, but there stills seems to be a wet blanket on everything.  I wonder what is happening. How have you been?  I wish I could see clearly in the Spirit.”

Esther,

“Had a lot of things whirring around my mind today.  Getting a lot about people today. The ones who are many.  Those who have, in effect, been buried or hibernating or hiding for a long time. Specifically, the ones that God has been awakening this last 18 months or so. His winds of change are breathing new life into them.  However, though these people are responding they are battle wearied, battle sore, and battle wounded.

 

I don’t feel so good

 

“And there are some quite bewildered by everything that is happening to them.  They need to know that it is ok, needing to feel his healing balm now.  It is important that they know that no matter the past, God has a future for them. People must understand that they have been set free and it’s OK to feel good. Some literally do not know how to feel good with God in their spirits.

Also I was thinking, that the attacks of the devil are only waifer thin and, in reality, if one could push through them, that whatever is trying to steal your peace would simply fall away.

Like today my pain physically is a lot worse than yesterday. I can choose to focus and wallow in it or choose to focus on God.  I am deciding that the joy of the Lord is my strength.  I declare that I will not be serving spirits of pain, ailment, or misery.

 

The barometer is falling

 

For a few days, I felt disquiet in my spirit.  Like sensing the spiritual barometric pressure falling before an approaching storm.  Like compression waves in the spirit before an earth quake.

Michael said,

“Something seems to be eating at you.  I sense you are under attack.”

Esther,

“I don’t know, it just feels like you are backing off.”

Michael,

“I don’t feel like I am backing off at all. Although, I think this is the longest we haven’t talked to each other in 6 months. Are you sure your ok?”

Esther,

“It has just not been a good week.”

Michael,

“Not really, my spirit is very unsettled.  I got up very early and started writing. Seemed to no use to try and sleep any longer. What is the matter? You’re upset. You should say exactly what is on your mind dear. That is how we have always been together.

(long pause…)

Wow, you are either busy or in a bad way. We can talk when you are ready. You know, I feel what you feel, so it does not do much good to try to hide things. Especially when the Devil tries to attack you.”

 

Hearts beating as one

 

For those that do not know, when you are strongly connected with another person in the Spirit you feel what they feel.  You sense when they are happy and when they are sad.  You know when they need you or when they are in danger.  It is like you are there with them, inside their heart and mind, feeling and sensing what they feel and sense.  In a very real way, a connection unites you until there is no more “you” and “they”,  just “we.”

Esther,

“No, this has been building all week.   I’ve been having trouble getting used to you writing about us.  I just need to adjust to that …”

Michael,

“One other thing, just so you understand me, I feel that I cannot do this on my own.  God created me so that, without you to activate this stuff in me, it just lays dormant. It’s your spirit being with me and in me that causes all these things to come forth. Without you with me, I simply cannot be all that God desires.”

 

Relentless battering of the enemy

 

Esther,

“Yeah, I know I just feel like the symptom of everything that is wrong at the minute. It is this apathy that does not want to shake off me. I have not felt like this for a long while. So long that I almost do not recognize it.  I know it will lift eventually. This type of spiritual attack is a relentless battering. It just gnaws at your until it builds up to this hopeless feeling. I honestly do not understand how I am to fight it.  I ask God to help me get rid of it, but it is still there each day I get up. This depression seems to be building every day this week.”

“I feel a bit like “why hath thou forsaken me” at times.  I know that I am trying my best but am at a loss about what else to do. I have no intention of abandoning you, I just feel that I have to sort this attack out alone. I am sorry, I do not even feel that I can explain it really adequately enough either.  I am not feeling that strong right now. It is like I must be stronger and not let this go on, but I am not.  I have been thinking though, I might as well just give up and make it a failure all round. When I get under attack like this, I am mad and disappointed with myself.”

 

Absent in the spirit

 

Michael,

“I know and its is ok.  I’m just concerned about you being under attack like this.  Remember, you don’t have to be strong all the time. This is the first time you were absent in the spirit from me for a very long time. I felt very disturbed really.”

Esther,

“I did not create this isolation though, I hope you know that I did not purposefully detach myself from you spiritually. It is really disturbing that can even happen at this point. And even more so at times when we need it not to happen.”

Michael,

Ok, what you need to do, if you can, is not let the Devil totally take you down.  That is what Satan is aiming to do to you right now by rubbing your face in your preconcieved failing.  Just steady yourself on me and know that this will pass. You haven’t lost me. This is just an attack, nothing more.”

Esther,

“I am trying my best not to give up.  I know that moaning about it is not going to help change things either.  Sometimes, I think speaking less about these negative emotions is probably better.  Speaking things, it only seems to make matters worse. I feel absolutely drained of energy and get up and go. Felt like just handing in my resignation today. Like giving up completely.”

 

Under demonic attack

 

 

The next day, Michael said,

“I think that the way I felt when you were having a difficult time is what it means to discern the lords body. I think it is a by-product if intimacy. It seems that most, if not all scripture, has a much deeper and more profound experience associated with them than we realize.”

“If you think about discernment, perhaps we get feeling down sometimes because we are discerning the Lord’s body. Maybe all the misery that believers are feeling around us makes us hurt because they are hurting, even though we are not connected specifically to them as individuals.  It could be the aggregate of it all, if we are spiritually sensitive, hitting us pretty hard.

 

Sensitive in the Spirit

 

Esther,

“I know that is true. Part of my problem is that I seem to absorb other people’s emotions, problems, feelings too easily.”

Michael,

“Yes, we even call it “waves” of depression. Like it is an ocean of it crashing upon us, wearing us down.”

 

Operator,Operator, I’ve Lost my connection

 

Esther,

“If what I am feeling is someone else’s and not my own, only once it is identified AND acted upon will it lift. It is like a wet blanket really. It can be obvious sometimes or sometimes it sneaks up on you unexpectedly.  I can be having an OK day then suddenly it crashes for no good reason: melancholy.

 

 

Thanks for listening

 

Esther,

“Thanks for lending a ear and listening to my moaning.”

Michael,

“No problem. Glad to help a bit. You are doing a lot more good than you realize. God is accomplishing amazing things through you, it’s just that you don’t see it right now.  No wonder the Devil tries to attack you.

Love you lots. Have a good afternoon and let the heaviness lift in Jesus name.”

Esther,

“You too, love & hugs.”

 

 

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