When Divine Divorce Is The Will Of Our Father Part 1
Does God Grant Divine Divorce?
I am going write about a very sensitive subject. These precepts may tread upon what many consider to be sacred ground. My aim is not to hurt, but to heal and liberate. I desire to minister, not to the sensibilities of the many, but to the hearts of the few who are wrestling with extremely difficult decisions.
God does not create sacred cows
Within Christendom, there are “sacred cows” which one must not touch. If you dare re-examine certain doctrines, you risk being branded an apostate or heretic. Yet, far from keeping doctrines pure, excommunication (shunning) is an emotional control tactic. Heretical doctrines, causing untold misery, are mandated by people who care more how their religion looks than what it actually does. Dogma ends up keeping people in bondage to age-old lies introduced during the very darkest periods of church history.
However, let God be true and every man a liar. This taboo subject is where a great many people live, suffer, and sometimes even die. It is one of the main strongholds of demonic deception, literally binding millions in guilt, uncertainty, and shame. This subject is,
Divine Divorce
Jesus says,
“What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”
Mark 10:9
Unholy matrimony
This scripture, perhaps more than any other passage, is misused and abused by the leadership of the Christian church. It is employed to brow beat men and women into staying in marriages that mock the whole institution of “holy” matrimony. Clergy elevate “keeping the bonds of marriage” into an essential part of salvation. Whatever the costs, staying together is a “good testimony” in most ministers’ views.
However, while God “hates” divorce, He also wants people to fulfill His plan for their lives too. YHWH cannot use us to save others if we are mired down in pain and suffering ourselves. Essentially, God hates frustrating His will even more than He does broken, earthly marriages He had nothing to do with in the first place.
Legalists twist God’s blessings,
Here is a truth,
“Marriage was made for man and not man for marriage.”
Our Father made marriage to be a blessing, but if it becomes a cursing, it misses the whole point. On the Sabbath, when you were not to do any work, Jesus’ disciples rolled kernels in their hands to eat as they passed through a certain corn field. Some who saw it, criticized them for “working” on the Sabbath.
Jesus says,
“The sabbath was made for man, and not man for the sabbath:”
Mark 2:27
“Therefore the Son of man is Lord also of the sabbath.”
Mark 2:28
The purpose of the day of rest isn’t to make people go hungry. God designated the Sabbath to be a day of blessing. If you cause people to go hungry on that day how is that a blessing or rest? Furthermore, Jesus is the Lord of the Sabbath so He can do whatever He wants on it.
Rash vows and unwise choices
Likewise, God made marriage to be a blessing, therefore, if it becomes a cursing it ceases to fulfill His intention. Many people are in marriages where they suffer continually, yet, believing that God has joined them, they stay together no matter what. Jesus, though, is Lord of marriage and He can do with it whatever He wants and sometimes this means divine divorce.
It is simple lunacy to believe that a decision to sleep with a man or woman, without God’s leading, means that He joins you together. We are not living in the Old Testament. Two drunk people getting “married,” in the chapel of love does not “holy” matrimony make. God does not honor what He does not author. When people marry outside the will of the Holy Spirit they are not bound by Mark 10:9.
The Kingdom of God is within the hearts of men
Everything in the Church age is a matter of the heart. The only two outward ceremonies Jesus gave us is communion and water baptism. Even the very kingdom of God is within the hearts of men. This means that marriage is of the heart also. Therefore these two maxims apply,
“People who have a level of love and lifetime commitment from God that warrants sexual intimacy do not sin when they have intimate relations.”
And,
“People who do not have a level of love and lifetime commitment from God that warrants sexual intimacy sin when they have intimate relations.”
Are you committing adultery with your legal wife?
Many people who live together without a marriage license, God has joined together. Conversely, there are people who possess a marriage license that God has not joined together. In the first case, the man and woman are in right relationship with God and do not sin when they are intimate. In the second case, the man and woman are not in right relationship with God and sin when they are intimate. Therefore, some sin every time they have sex, even though legally married.
The legalist may think that a piece of paper, issued by their clergy and/or a secular authority gives them the right to join together. However, only God has the right and the power to join two people together. Conversely, only God has the right and power to put people asunder. Unless God leads you to marry or, in some cases, to divorce, you err doing either one.
Look everyone, the doctrine of marriage has no clothes!
Though Christian doctrine refuses to realize these truths, believers, as evidenced by the high divorce rate, do. People divorce all the time and their congregations accept them back into fellowship. Amazingly, while church doctrine says one thing about divorce, faced with reality, the leadership does another. Therefore, it is their doctrine that needs fixing because they, by their very actions, acknowledge it as unreasonable.
Sometimes people divorce with the explicit or implicit consent of God. I call this, “divine divorce“. Most Christians do not take the step of divorce lightly. Even though there are strong cultural and religious prohibitions against breaking the bonds of holy matrimony, many believers do so because, all things considered, it is the right course of action. God, in effect, breaks apart man-made unions so that believers can be free to marry as He intended.
Jesus always spoke to the heart of the matter
Was Jesus against divorce? Certainly. However, the pharisees and religious people Jesus spoke to believed that you could simply say to a woman “I divorce thee” three times and she was out on the street. Therefore, instead of being careful and agonizing over a decision to put away a wife, heartless men disposed of their wives without good reason.
Jesus pointed out that the two become one flesh, which speaks of children, and therefore because of the children people should stay together. There is nothing mystical about “one flesh.” The one flesh is the union of a man and women in the flesh of the offspring they produce. Only in a secondary sense is there a mystical bond in your inner man. By divorcing women so easily men caused their wives to commit adultery. Forcing women to remarry out of economic necessity, when God did not institute Divine Divorce, caused them to commit adultery.
Munching on holy bread
There may be some that are having a “holy cow” right now and saying, “but what about the scripture!” It says this or that and because the Bible says it I believe it! To that sentiment I quote this,
“Now therefore what is under thine hand? give me five loaves of bread in mine hand, or what there is present. And the priest answered David, and said, There is no common bread under mine hand, but there is hallowed bread; if the young men have kept themselves at least from women. And David answered the priest, and said unto him, Of a truth women have been kept from us about these three days, since I came out, and the vessels of the young men are holy, and the bread is in a manner common, yea, though it were sanctified this day in the vessel. So the priest gave him hallowed bread: for there was no bread there but the shewbread, that was taken from before the Lord, to put hot bread in the day when it was taken away.”
1 Samuel 21:3-6
The law said that only priests could eat the bread consecrated to God. Yet David, a man after God’s own heart, took and ate of it. Why is this so? It is because the bread in the tabernacle represented life. To cause David and his men to perish for lack of bread was opposite of what shew bread represented. By eating of the shew bread David fulfilled the real intent of what it represented.
Don’t remain married just for appearance sake
Similarly, while in general, marriages are held inviolate between a man and a woman, that is not always the case. If a marriage mocks the reasons that God made marriage in the first place, then it is no marriage.
We live in an imperfect world ravaged by sin. Our marriages are no different. People tend to consummate marriages without the true blessing of God. God often does not bless because He did not give His consent to wed in the first place. YHWH salvages some marriages, even though not joined together by Him originally, through mercy and grace. God can do miracles if the man and woman give themselves wholly over to His Spirit. Others, though, are grave mistakes that will, in the end, cause so much damage and destruction, God simply breaks them apart by performing a divine divorce. This is not a judgment so much as a kindness even though, when it is taking place, it may be heartbreaking.
Divine Divorce is sometimes necessary
In conclusion, God’s plan for our lives is more important than our earthly contracts. God is the Lord of marriage, and if we married out of His will He may perform a divine divorce. If our Father determines our choices will damage our generations He may break our marriages apart. When this happens divorce is not a sin and is, in fact, the will of God.
How often does divine divorce take place?
How often does this happen? No one knows, but I suspect it happens quite often. I believe that very few people marry in the will of God and with His permission. Judging by the divorce rate among believers, I would venture a guess, north of 40%.
You can, if you desire, use the truth about divine divorce to your own destruction. These are powerful truths borne by the Holy Spirit to correct fundamental errors in church dogma. If you divorce without the permission of the Holy Spirit you will sin. Using my words to justify sin will not absolve you from it. If, on the other hand, my words cause you to see God’s will for your life clearly, then be blessed. Take comfort, even though you are correcting a rash vow, you are very much in the will of God.
Dear all,
There was a discussion I had with a certain group of people a while ago that I felt badly about. I felt badly because I did not stand up to them as forcefully as I should have. They essentially “brow beat” the discussion to a close and though I spoke the truth I was not as clear as I could have been. Partly because my thoughts on the subject were not as solidified as they are now and partly because I simply did not want to deal with their disrespect and arrogance any longer.
This essay is my answer to them and to everyone else that seeks to quench the Spirit of revelation about divine divorce. It is my stand on this subject based upon what God has revealed to me through His Holy Spirit in His word and by experiencing Him. Legalists often times seek to squelch those who would follow God’s heart and cause others to suffer needlessly while they rest easy at no cost to themselves. Like modern day pharisees, they care not about the pain of others, but only about being “right” in their own eyes.
So this is my stand against what all those who would bind God’s people in failed marriages. I am saying this truth not only to you, but to the whole world so that they may, as many will hear what the Spirit is saying to this generation, understand the truth about divine divorce and be set free.
Sincerely,
Michael King
Dear Connections,
It is a fact of Divine Love that it takes precedence over everything in our lives, because it is an expression of God Himself. When we pray “Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven” we are asking that God’s love manifest through us as He originally intended.
As we reveal the nature of God here on earth, we align ourselves with His will. The only problem is that most people have built their entire lives on not doing God’s will. So, when we come to God, laying our lives before Him, there is a lot that needs to change.
Unfortunately, one of the most fundamentally rash vows we often make is whom we marry. This area is so critical to God’s plan that if we make a non-spirit led choice, it creates a real mess. It’s not necessarily that we have chosen a bad or evil person to wed, rather it is just that we have not chosen the spouse God desires us to be with.
I remember my first marriage was like that. We were both Bible College students. I wanted to be a minister and she wanted to be a minister’s wife. She was smart, spiritual, and a nice girl. However, when the Spirit of God began to move in our congregation, it became apparent that my then wife could not go where God was calling me. Did this make her a bad person? no, it just made her the wrong person.
As we both entered into the move of the Spirit, it became apparent that we were not “meant” for each other. Our church was very biblically based teaching that divorce was out of the question except in cases of adultery. Yet, for all my Bible teaching, God kept saying to divorce my wife.
For months, I struggled with what I felt God was leading me to do. To may natural mind I believed that God hated divorce and that it would be a sin if I did so. Yet, in my spirit, I knew that divorcing my wife was exactly what God wanted me to do. During the time that I resisted God’s will our marriage deteriorated. Things become worse and worse until we eventually separated. Finally, I gave in to God and told my spouse it was time to file.
At that time, the sea of our marriage, that raged around us, became suddenly still. All the hurt and animosity vanished and we divorce quite amicably. In fact, when my ex-wife moved to a small apartment I used to go a tuck her into bed, stroking her hair as she fell asleep each night. I did this every night for several months, until one day she said she was ok and did not need that any longer.
I had to make a choice, would I keep married because I thought that was the right thing to do, or would I divorce because God thought it was the right thing to do. Divorce is never easy. In fact, the longer you have been married the more difficult it is, especially if you have children. Yet, the length of our mistake does not erase the fact that we make the mistake in the first place.
In the end, everything that is not of God must either be changed or be removed. This is why even our bodies change in the moment, in the twinkling of an eye. Nothing that is sin can enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, if we desire to become true servants of the Most High we cannot keep anything that is not pleasing to our lord in our lives. This includes people we have made rash vows to and earthly contracts that are not of God. As hard as it is to say, it is the truth.
Finally, I do not like talking about such personal and painful things. It is really not my favorite thing to do. However, people need to know that what I write about is not “theory”, but rather theology borne of experience. Actually, the hurt mainly stemmed from me resisting God’s will, if I had actually just done what He told me to do, I would have saved both of us a lot of heartache. There are not many people that will tell you the truth on this subject, because they would rather fit in then help out. However, I am so far in with God that I don’t fit in with normative Christianity anyway, so I dare tell you the facts about Divine Divorce. I do this because I know how difficult it is for people who love God to follow His will in this area while everyone they know is not.
Sincerely,
Michael
Dear Connections,
Marriage is not created by God, it is a man made institution. Natural minded men and women created holy matrimony. In the beginning it was not so. In the beginning God joined the first man and women together and said “Go forth, be fruitful, and multiply…” and that was it. In the restoration of all things we will neither marry or be given in marriage because it did not exist in the first place.
When you are led by God’s Spirit to marry, you do not need a marriage certificate, a church, a priest, nor any earthly authority to do so. All you need is God’s direction and His divine love flowing between you and your mate. The Divine Love between you should be to a level that warrants physical intimacy and a life commitment.
Many are aghast at the notion that God did not create marriage. They act similar to idolaters when you tell them that their false gods are merely a piece of wood over laid with metal. Both types of people believe in something that God never made.
If the two chief doctrines of the church, the trinity and marriage, are extra biblical, what else might they have wrong?
Sincerely,
Michael
Dear Connections,
But what about the children? What if Christian parents’ divorce and there are children? Won’t they be hurt and damaged by their parents separation? The answer is: maybe.
Divine divorce, if done in the Spirit is not a fight to the death, but rather a release from a foolish vow that many people made in their ignorance. Children are very perceptive and they know when mom and dad don’t get along. Continuing the charade merely for the children’s sake does not, in the end, benefit anyone.
When God separates a couple, if they are listening His voice, there is peace. Even though they may feel badly about time wasted, money or opportunities lost, returning to the path God originally desires is ultimately the best thing they can do…for everyone.
God says,
“And Ezra the priest stood up, and said unto them, Ye have transgressed, and have taken strange wives, to increase the trespass of Israel. Now therefore make confession unto the Lord God of your fathers, and do his pleasure: and separate yourselves from the people of the land, and from the strange wives. Then all the congregation answered and said with a loud voice, As thou hast said, so must we do.”
Ezra 10:10-12
All in all, 113 Divine Divorces occured under Ezra with 17 of them being priests of the house of God.
(Information fromt the united church of God Bible commentary.)
Moreover, God states,
“All these had taken strange wives: and some of them had wives by whom they had children.”
Ezra 10:44
Divine divorce is lead by the Holy Spirit. Those whom God seperates need not be carnally minded. Money, property, or children should not be the focus of those God leads to serperate, but rather what is best for all concerned. It is the hate that some people have towards each other that children can’t deal with. When mom and dad hate each other it forces them to take sides or be caught in the middle. For young people, who feel things so keenly, this can be very damaging.
Staying together for the kids say just draws out the pain over a period of years. Children feel the undercurrent of resentment and exasperation that build up between people who are unequally yoked in the sight of God. Better to allow God to gentle separation you on amicable terms rather than stay together and be miserable for longer periods of time.
Ultimately you made the decision to marry and only you can make the decision to un-marry. Breaking a family up is one of the hardest things you will ever do if that is how God leads you. You should never do anything like this without a lot of prayer and consideration. Know for sure what the voice of God is saying before you take the ultimate step of Divine Divorce. If you don’t know for sure, wait until you do. Trust God that He can and will make His will know to you. Try to be lead of His Spirit even in this most difficult area.
Sincerely,
Michael