I don’t know how to act any longer
Michael,
“What I am feeling right now is that I want to know you deeper and deeper. I need to feel you as much as possible and express this love I feel for you in some way. If there was a spiritual way to may love to you, that is how I would want to be with you right now. That is how I feel in my spirit anyway.”
Esther,
“I was thinking much same the other day, but thought may not be appropriate to say anything, so I didn’t.”
Michael,
“It is like I need your spiritual body in some deeper way. I hope God brings some clarity on this point. It is really beginning to consume my spirit like “burning coals” in the Song of Solomon. A whole ocean could not put this quench this eternal flame I feel towards you, this longing to become one and have you inside me.”
Esther,
“And it doesn’t does it, because this love doesn’t feel weak or distant at all.”
Words are not enough
Michael,
“Like I say, words fail to describe what is happening between us. It is just getting stronger and stronger. Love you dear.”
Michael and Esther fall deeper and deeper into God’s love and as they do a whole new door of experiences in the Spirit seem to swing open. However, just when they reach one plateau that seems higher than high, God does something even more precious and wonderful. Like the Queen of Sheba, Michael and Esther exclaim “The half has not been told!”
It is our natural minds than have barred us from these places in heaven that are our birthright. Likewise, our earthly reason imprisons us, keeping us from true life. Walking in the Spirit is much more than we have been told or could even imagine. All the scriptures are living and full of experiences, beyond time and this creation. When we commit to live by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of our Father, His word lives in and through us.
A new day
The next day, Esther says,
“This love I am feeling towards you and God is like a constant tightening and drawing. Only God could create something so bottomless, it just has no ending or beginning.”
Michael,
“Him my love, yes, the song of songs is just one big description of a spiritual connection. I looks like a earthly romance to others but it is much more than that.”
Esther,
“Yes totally, it’s why it’s key. I love song of songs because you really feeling the intimacy with God. Through Solomon’s words you ‘get it’ and come to understand divine intimacy. Divine intimacy is a rod of division between wheat a chaff. It separates the wolves from His sheep. It quickly divides like a two edged sword. Imagine if all Christians truly embraced God’s love for what it is, imagine what that would do not just to them but the world.”
Esther Muses
The next time we speak, Esther muses,
“Musing changes you fundamentally each time you open yourself to doing it. You can never go back to previous states of understanding when you do. It, in a way, takes something from you to change your understandings of the world. You wouldn’t call them revelations if they were not new and new things are ‘needed’ to bring them into being. For something to be new something old has to go to make space.
People don’t really understand what happens behind the scenes during the birthing of revelation. Most don’t understand what the people giving the revelations sometimes endure to do so. As liberating on the spirit as revelation is…it isn’t always liberating in the physical world existence of the person. The more the Spirit wants to be and live and exist, the more the world and flesh has to die or recede. I think there is always the exact same distance between the world and the Spirit. As one moves forward, the other moves back and vice versa, so distance stays same
The freedom to muse
This spiritual journey can be a lonely one and a rough ride, but I would not change being spiritually in tune for a zombie human existance, sleepwalking through life to death eternal. I am glad I found someone to walk through it with, who at least gives me space to muse out of my mind to get clarity on it even if I don’t understand everything. These things just being stuck in your mind, going endlessly round, sends me literally crazy. Being with you has given me an outlet and God is removing those boundaries I’ve built around myself bit by bit. I’ve been thinking, “what has happened to normal understandable boundaries?” I am beginning to struggle with knowing what is right or wrong. I don’t know how to act any longer.
I’m feeling a bit conflicted here
Michael,
“I have been feeling that lately, that there is some dialogue going on inside you. Kind of a tug of war in your mind and heart. I can’t put my figure on it. It feels like like winding up one of the toy airplanes with those long rubber bands. First you see twists, then the knots, then double knots, and you wonder how far you can go before you need to let it fly or something breaks.”
Esther,
“I think that maybe my concept of normality and known acceptability is trying to hold me back a bit. However, my eagerness to see this out there and find out where its going is fighting that tendency. The bottom line for me is that, in my spirit, I feel God powerfully in what’s happening between us. I’m trying not to be sensible and reason led but more God-led and trusting His voice rather than knowledge I suppose.”
Doubt too, shall pass
Michael,
“I would rather risk everything and see it through to where it is going. What I have to do is just force myself to say exactly what comes to my mind through my spirit. This is really difficult because I find myself equivocating a lot when I should just be saying what is in my heart.”
Esther,
“Please don’t worry that my doubt is making me want to run out or anything dramatic that that. I’m loving all this and I thank God for thinking I good enough or worthy enough to be here in it.”
Michael.
“I am not sensing you are running.”
Dropping the “ladylike” attitude
Esther,
“I just gotta drop the, “it’s not ladylike” attitude when speaking of these things too. I have no problem with speaking about most things openly, but for me, intimacy is not as easy.”
Michael,
“We are just being called to deeper and deeper intimacy and I think it is really scary for each of us.”
Esther,
“I know and I agree, I think I just worried about wrecking things between us by saying the wrong thing or speaking inappropriately.”
Michael,
“Hon, I really need you to just let go of that fear. I want you a raw as you feel to be. Sleep on it. Night night.
Are you two able to feel each other’s feelings/sense each other’s thoughts, even when not around each other? Kind of sounds like it from the conversation above. . . .
Dear Cl,
Yes, it is kind of impossible not to. I know there are all different kinds of spiritual connections God creates, so there is a lot of variation in how people experience oneness with Him and each other. However, with us there is a sense that we are never actually apart anymore. It is difficult to explain without sounding really mystical. It’s like being in the same room with someone you love. Even if you don’t see them, you feel their presence and you know they are there.
When we talk to each other, or muse as we call it, revelation oscillates between us and God flows through us to each other. It kind of has a ripple effect to others around us also. Except, unlike ripples in a pond that decrease, these seem to increase as they move out.
There is joy and healing that God does between us and it feels natural and free it is like speaking in other tongues. I suppose you would call it the unity of the Spirit, but in a deeper and more meaningful way than we could ever imagine before.
God bless,
Michael
That’s an incredible explanation of what it feels like between me and my connection as well. . .I just always feel him – but instead of feeling him as if he was sitting next to me, it’s like he’s inside of me – and I inside of him, so I can feel his emotions. . We haven’t gotten to the point of really exploring the depth of it – yet. . . but I know God will remove all obstacles so we can – this is HIS thing, HIS idea, not ours! But God has told me that He will speak to us simultaneously. . . (and I believe He has begun to – or we are beginning to recognize it more). . . and yes, we can communicate without words, and when we really connect in that way it brings joy and healing. . .Thanks for sharing – so happy to have found you guys!
Hi CL,
I like what you said about the connection being “His Thing” i.e. God’s thing. That really sums it up for me. It’s like a total, joyful submission to the will of His Spirit in us as we connect with each other in love. Self doesn’t even enter into it most of the time and even if we’re having a bad day, God flows through our connection and supplies what we need.
Right now, this type of body ministry seems fairly unique and special, which it definitely is, but I believe this is the level of love and sensitivity that God has called us all to share with different members as He wills. I think this is what being fitly joined together means.
Thanks for your input, I like hearing what you have to say.
God bless you,
Muchael
That is a very clear explanation of how it is with myself and my connection! I not only sense his emotions, but his “presence”. I can tell the difference between when he is sleeping and awake (although we communicate quite a bit through dreams as well). It is like his soul is in mine and mine is in his. I wonder if this is what Jonathan and David experienced as close friends when the Bible says Jonathan’s soul was knit to David’s and he loved him like his own soul. The Lord has shown me that they are a counterpart to what I am experiencing with my connection – a divine love that surpasses any human love. No, I don’t believe they were homosexual, but so close in soul and spirit with a divine love that surpassed the loves they had for their wives, even – and had no comparison to any “box” of human love. . .and the love and healing is real! Last Thanksgiving our family got together and afterward everyone in the family came down with the same “bug” except me and my connection – and I believe it was because as I prayed for protection from the illness for him, the healing “echoed” to me – we are both very healthy physically compared to most of the people around us. . .I chalk it up to the divine love we feel that brings healing and wholeness.. . .so cool 🙂
Hi Cl,
Yes, once we experience the reality of what God is talking about, many things begin to fall into place and make sense. Connection love does surpass natural love in many respects. I truly believe that Divine Connections are eternal and our earthly commitments are not necessarily forever. This is because Divine Connection is what God original made before the fall, therefore in the restoration of all things, it is one of the only things He keeps from this creation.
Also, I believe the Divine Connection is the very reason for translation to heaven. We don’t see anyone being translated that doesn’t have a profound connection with God. I think this was the way God always meant it to be. We are born once through the will of the flesh, then born again by the Spirit through translation and glorification. Even if Adam and Eve never sinned at some point, in order to be with God where He is, that which is mortal must put on immortality.
A lot of new age people have talked about ascension, but I think they only have a very small piece of the truth in this matter. Ascension is God taking you to be where He is, not us becoming something in and of ourselves. We never become like God in any separate sense, what actually happens is that God becomes like Himself in us. As we yield to His Spirit, we are remade back into His image and likeness. This is what is happening in and through your spiritual connection.
It is all about union with our Lord through becoming one with Him and each other in Christ Jesus. The son of the most high showed us the way and so has preeminence and honor forevermore. He paid the price for our sin, making it possible to become one with the Father and he is one with our Father.
The oneness your feel with your spiritual connection is, in fact, a type of the oneness we feel with God. What is hearing the Holy Spirit except feeling the mind and heart of our Lord? His concerns become our concerns and we love him as He loves us until there is no separation. Translation is simply the end of a process of loving our God completely without reserve.
What I see in the future is a connected Body of Christ that feels everything God does. Therefore, as individual cells of our body touch and nourish each other naturally, the members of the Lord’s body connect and supply what the other lacks, As we are united to our Head, which is Christ, we naturally do the work of the ministry among those we are united with. His wave of love spread out from each one of us, not as a diminishing wave but as an every amplifying wave of God’s love through eternity. The administrations of His Spirit may vary according to what is needed, but there is one Spirit of YHWH at work in all.
There is power in Divine Connection with another because we are totally open to God in one another. I suppose it might be said that the feverent prayers of a connection at Thanksgiving availeth much.
God bless,
Michael
Well said – and I agree!