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Choose Your Mate Wisely

Who gets to choose your mate?  Is it your choice, God’s choice, or a combination of both?  Most people believe that choosing their mate is “their personal business”.   Most find that suggesting anyone else would be involved in choosing their mate unthinkable.  However, if we are not our own, is any choice really ours to make?  Are we masters of our own destiny or servants of the Most High?

What is happening with the Body of Christ right now is a process of taking off our fig leaves. That barrier, that man-made separation, the veil which has kept us from intimacy is opening to reveal who God really is.  As we begin to see what lays beyond, we’re coming to understand our Heavenly Lover’s true intent for us.

God wishes to be intimately involved

To many, the realization that God is our lover is quite a shock.  Especially in the west, with the residue of Victorian morality still coursing through our theological veins, many view intimacy with God as sacrilegious.  Our notion of holiness is devoid of intimacy and therefore diametrically opposed to how God really is.  We erroneously see nuns as pure.  We err thinking celibate priests are Holy because they do not procreate. However, when nuns and priests fail to behave as God created them to be, they foil and frustrate the plan of God in their lives. Such religious orders are based upon natural-minded thinking and are not the will of the Holy Spirit.

The first commandment is to procreate.  God commanded Adam and Eve to be fruitful and multiply. In fact, our Father set His son and wife in a garden full of sensual delights so that they would mate, and mate often.  In their mating, God would join with mankind and bring forth after His kind.  God meant children born of Divine Union to populate the entire universe.  This was the original plan of God for His last and greatest creation and, for those who are called according to His purpose, it still is.

It’s about God’s choice of mate

A Spirit-led relationship, as it pertains to mating, is when God chooses your mate.  In fact, God selects your mate just as He did when He presented Eve to Adam.  Our Father chooses our mates so that when we join together with Him, offspring are brought forth after His kind.

The fundamental flaw in the church is that people believe selecting their mate is their own personal choice. The “Ain’t no body’s business but my own” attitude towards procreation is totally wrong.  Choosing outside the will of God messes up God’s plan for your life, the lives of the children you produce, and the lives of those people you and your offspring will influence.  In fact, most of the work that God does in our lives is to compensate and/or correct for our poor choice of mates.

Love at first sight


The truth about how people are supposed to mate is really much, much different from what most assume.  We are to be led by God’s Spirit. Our choice of whom we marry is to be “love at first sight” through connecting with our future mate’s spirit as God directs.  The order of God in male-female relationships is “spirit, soul, body”.  First we connect through our Father’s Spirit to our mate’s spirit, then we get to know their soul, and finally we become one in body.  God intends Spirit-led unions as the way He mates with the whole human race.

However, in the world, as well as the church, people usually connect in just the opposite way. A woman sees a man as handsome, or a man sees a woman as beautiful and they proceed from that basis. Only after that initial physical attraction do they begin to know each other’s soul. However, depending on how strong the physical attraction is, soulical compatibility may be beside the point. Truthfully, many just “hook up” solely based on sexual attraction and nothing else. Finally, and very rarely, do people ever become one spiritually as God desires.

Marriages flawed from the very beginning


Sometimes, people fall in love with each others’ souls, finding mutual compatibility and love in the natural realm.  Many call these people soul mates and they can generally have happy lives together.  However, many never progress to uniting in their spirits because God never brought them together in the first place. People who mate outside God’s will never realize the true intent of their union.

This is the reason for the high divorce rate in the Christian church. Natural minded choices produce natural-minded results. Once the animal passion passes, many find little reason to stay with their mates. Eventually, many realize that they married the wrong person and, even though it costs a lot, they divorce.  Men and women,  joined outside of God’s will, never fully connect because they aren’t meant to be together in the first place.

Therefore, marry as God chooses


Thus, most people in the Christian church are not married to the people God desires. YHWH must approve your earthly marriage,  else it is flawed from the very beginning.

The bottom line is: you must marry the man or woman of God’s choice.  Yield to His choice of mate and allow God to join you together as He sees fit. God forbids people to select their mate through their natural reasoning because so much depends upon it.  God bought you with a price, therefore, you are not at liberty to choose a mate outside His will.

Only God knows best

In conclusion, the fundamental precept that we must accept is that we must mate as God leads and not as we decide.  Anything less is sin and does violence to His will for our lives. Give up the notion that we choose whom to marry.  Unless God gives you specific permission to wed another, mating with a man or woman outside the will of God introduces a systemic flaw to your union that ultimately keeps you from fulfilling the original plan of God in your life.

Finally,  I will qualify what I say in other essays,  but for now,  understand clearly this foundational truth. Many money changers in the temple felt badly about having their coin tables overturned; however, they were wrong and not Christ. Likewise, people bring their ungodly choices of mates into the house of God thinking that what they do is reasonable, too. However, like the money changers, that which is not of God must go and His temple must be cleansed from our unrighteousness.

Sweet Surrender by Jaci Velasquez