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inappropriate sex

Inappropriate Sex

If you are a Christian (or even if you aren’t for that matter) we all know that visiting a prostitute is wrong, but do we know why? Most people simply say, “well, God says so!”   That is correct, God is very clear that having sex with a prostitute is sin. However, do we understand why it is sin?

Even when you do not understand why God prohibits something, it is still a good idea not to do it.  However, God always has a good reason for what He says.  However, it is very helpful if you know the underlying reasons for His commandments.  The underlying principle of “why” it is sin to visit a prostitute is that doing so is having “inappropriate sex“.

Love and commitment go hand in hand

Inappropriate sex is having sex when there is no love relationship commensurate with that level of expression.  In other words, sexual intercourse is only appropriate when their exists commensurate level love and commitment. A man or woman should never have sex unless they are deeply in love and led by His Spirit to commit for life.

This level of heart relationship cannot exist with a prostitute. Sex for money is a transaction.  You are essentially renting their body for a short time with no intention of loving or taking care of them for life.  This is not the God intended use of a woman or even a man.  God is offended when you take for granted another persons body for your temporary sexual gratification.

God designed intimacy as an expression of love

God created sex as an expression of love.  Love cannot exist without respect for the person loved.  If you are going to be intimate with a person where a child is possible, there must exist a relationship commensurate with that responsibility.

This understanding also tells us why homosexuality is wrong, why underage marriage is wrong, why rape is wrong, and why every other form of sexual perversion is wrong.  All these things that God calls sin are wrong because they are inappropriate sex. God desires us to use our bodies in ways that reflect His law of love.  You cannot love someone and abuse their bodies at the same time.

We sin when we do not love

Basically, men and women sin when they do not love.  When we commit sexual sin we do not love our neighbor as ourselves. When someone visits a prostitute they violate the law of Agape (self sacrificial love.)  God says, not only do you not love the person but you hate your own flesh when you do such things.

God is also against sexual sin because of all the trouble it causes. A.I.D.S, contrary to what many in the world want you to believe, is a judgement on men having sex with men.  Unfortunately, that judgement spilled over into the heterosexual community due to intravenous drug use and illicit sex.

All sin violates the law of love and, sexual sin in particular, is a perversion of what God made very good.  True love values the person above the passion. Love does no harm.  God always has very good reasons for His commandments.  It is good to obey out of trust, but it is better to understand our Father’s thinking.

Inappropriate sex is sin

In conclusion, sexual sin is, at its root, inappropriate sex. Appropriate sex is intimacy that is commensurate with  our heart commitment towards the person we love.  People lacking the level of heart commitment necessary for intimate expression should not have sex. Married or unmarried, if a marriage level commitment exists in your heart, you are married before God and sexual expression is appropriate. If  you do not count that person as your mate for life then don’t have sex.  Legal license or not, God must unite you in your hearts by divine union before you make love.

Be led of the Spirit in all you do, even intimacy

Finally, the gold standard in all relationships is to be led by the Spirit of God in all we do.  God should be intimately involved in leading all forms of intimacy in our lives.  We are the union of God and man.  God wants to live through us in a perfect flow that shows forth His glory to this creation.  Amen.

Walk With Me by Kim Walker