Are You A Christian Mistress? Part 2
Beloved Of The Lord,
When it comes to the topic of being a Christian Mistress, people have questions. Some wonder,
“If you are attracted to a married man, how do you know it is the will of your Father and not just your lust? After all, we’ve all had crushes on people during our dating lives and they are not all God are they?”
Or,
“What if I sleep with a married man? Isn’t that wrong?”
Or,
“I know God wants me to be with this married man, yet he will not divorce his current wife to be with me, what do I do?”
Going against all convention
These and many other questions come to mind when believing women find themselves in the situation of being a Christian Mistress. Though these women love God, they are irresistibly drawn to be with a married man. They do this even though it goes against all convention and church teaching. Though in their hearts they know it is right to love the man God draws them too, in their heads they often battle guilt, shame, and self-doubt.
What I am about to say may seem absurd at first but just consider it prayerfully. Just as Jesus often contradicted the established teaching of the Pharisees, you may find you’re not disobeying God at all as this truth sets you free. Many times the true heart of our Lord is a lot different from what our church teaches and our society believes.
God has a plan for you
To begin with, God has a plan for each and every one of us. This plan is so important that He marked it out before He laid the foundations of this world. We are predestined, through His foreknowledge, to live the life He ordains. This includes, if we are willing, to marry a divine mate of His choice.
While the biggest and most important decision of our lives is to accept Jesus Christ, choosing our mate is very important also. While salvation determines whether or not we make heaven our home, our choice of spouse often determines if we’ll reach our full potential in God here on earth. Mess up either one of these critical choices and there will be disastrous consequences.
Isn’t it a sin for me to be with a married man?
I assume that those who read this essay are believers. I also assume that you are in love with a married man whom you believe God wants you to be with. Moreover, though you feel God’s leading, you are concerned as to whether or not you are sinning.
When God calls you to love a married man, it isn’t strange or unusual, just against Christian convention. Married men are often the only “good catches” left. Many are proven men who have status, maturity, and wealth. Women have a deep need for strength and security, therefore they’re naturally drawn to established males.
Lust of the flesh or leading of His Spirit?
The question becomes: is the attraction I feel lust or a spiritual drawing sanctioned by God? If you are just lusting then you are sinning, whereas if God is leading you by His Spirit, you are in His will.
The truth is that the difference between lust and divine love is night and day. Lust is selfish and wants what it wants no matter what. The fact that you are so broken up and concerned about whether or not you are doing right by God, the married man, and even his wife, means that you are not lusting. A woman who is just “on the prowl” does not concern herself with such things. Divine Love is self-sacrificial and wants to bless and promote the other person in the relationship. It is everything 1 Corinthians 13 speaks about and more. Whereas lust drives you to satisfy carnal desires, true agape love drives you to love without limits for the good of the one you love.
The love you feel may be a Divine calling
Dare To Trust God’s Leading
Therefore, if you feel in your heart and spirit that God is leading you to be with a married man, and your love is as I describe above, it is Divine Love. Most women who fall in love with a married man do so because the love they feel is overwhelming. The drawing in their hearts and loins is to care for and be a helpmate to him in any way possible. Check your motivations towards the person you love as a way to know if your love is from God or not.
This doesn’t mean that your love is not sexual though. Divine love is highly passionate and erotic, often more sensual than you have ever felt before in your life. The power of Divine Love is so great that Christian women often go against everything they have ever been taught to be with the object of God’s affection. Against all odds, sincere believers sleep with married men because they feel, despite their natural minds, it is the most right thing to do in the world. All this is indicative of a powerful spiritual connection that God uses to join Divine Mates together.
Why does God ignore the fact the man you love is married?
This, oddly enough, is exactly the truth. God does ignore the earthly marriage, not having authored it. When God pairs you with a Divine Mate, your heavenly relationship supersedes any earthy contract. Essentially, when you decide to go all-in with God, He cleanses your temple. As often happens, when a situation is beyond YHWH’s ability to redeem, He hits the reset button. This means if you and/or the man you love are married, God dissolves your earthly relationships to make way for your heavenly mate. This is called Divine Divorce.
What if God is pairing you together for His purposes but the married man refuses to divorce and be with you? Sometimes, the woman, but not the married man will not follow through. There can be various reason for this such as:
1. Lack of faith and an inability to trust God’s leading.
2. Financial sacrifices he is not willing to make.
3. Fear of losing his children or alienating his relatives.
4. Losing his job or other social costs.
5. Pressure from their church and/or current wife.
6. Just being comfortable where they are at.
If married men lack the faith to move forward, what do you do?
Therefore, for these reasons and many others, a married man may promise to leave his current wife, but never really intend to do so. Does this mean that you were wrong in what you heard God say? No, it does not. Does that mean you should wait and believe God will still put you together? Perhaps, but not always.
In a Divine Mate situation, there are no set rules except to be led by God’s Spirit. However, sometimes the man doesn’t listen to God and opts for just keeping you as a mistress forever. This, of course, is really not God’s plan. Instead of being a divine appointment, you end up becoming a lie, hidden from friends and family and especially his wife. While your relationship is blessed by God, the lie starts to show a lack of faith on his part.
Missing the time of his visitation
Unfortunately, some men are cowardly when it comes to confronting their ungodly marriage. Though they love you and admit that you are the one God wants them to be with, the price seems too high. In reality, they need to trust God and “bite the bullet” or they are not worthy of being your Divine Mate. Frankly, to miss their destiny with you is one of the greatest tragedies they will ever know.
You must show up to be chosen
In every calling of God, there is a period of time given to answer His call. Sometimes it is a short season and sometimes it is long, however, once it is over, you’ve missed it. Likewise, in a Divine Mate situation, when God calls, both of you have to answer. It is not a lite thing for someone to resist the will of the Holy Spirit and the consequences are great for both of you. God would not have asked to break every known rule of Christian conduct if the outcome was not very important to Him.
If the man will not honor his Master’s voice, God will simply give you to another who will. Though you are meant to be a tremendous blessing to the married man, he must accept God’s calling. You may be willing, yet, if he will not make you his Divine Mate, he sins. God is patient and so are you, but YHWH’s will is “time-sensitive”. Both of you must listen, hear, and obey on time for God to accomplish His divine purpose.
I thought I heard God so clearly, what went wrong?
This can often be very confusing for the Christian Mistress because she feels so strongly that it is God’s will for her to be with her true love. In truth it is but people have been frustrating God’s will in their lives for a long time. Therefore refusing to take a Divine Mate to wife is just par for the course for some. If this is the case, you must listen to God as much to “break up” with the married man as you did with “being with” him in the first place.
I show you another way
Lastly, there is another option that people rarely consider, but it is sometimes exactly what God has in mind. Though many marriages are deeply flawed, not all are. It is not a foregone conclusion that God wants your married man to break up with his current wife. In some cases, if the first wife accepts you as a co-wife there is no need for divorce at all.
This is kind of Divine Mates is extremely rare, but it does happen and is valid in God’s eyes. In fact, being a co-wife is the more traditional approach both historically and biblically. However, the married man has to take the step to talk to his present wife. Very few men can do this. However, if you are all led by the Holy Ghost, a blended family is an option.
No need to cry yourself to sleep any longer
Finally, I have gone long on this essay, but these things are important to say. There are more than a few women who cry themselves to sleep at night, agonizing over whether or not they are going to hell for essentially following the Holy Spirit. Just realize that God’s sovereignty is complete and that Jesus is the Lord of marriage. God does with His people as He likes for His own purposes and none can stay His hand. The church cannot override the will of the Almighty no matter what their dogma says.
Lastly, trust God. Admittedly you are in a very difficult situation. Just know that God loves you. Your Father did not lead you into this valley without there being a mountaintop in your future. It may not turn out just as you imagine but God is with you all the way and in the end, you will be blessed among women.
I believe that Celine Dion and her late husband were Divine Mates and I think much of her music reflects their deep and profound union
Beloved,
To be sure, there are more satisfying things speak about than Divine Divorce and Christian Mistresses. However, this is where more people than we care to admit really live.
A Divine Divorce in conjunction with a Divine Mate is a sort of Divine Reset. If the direction you are going and the place that you will ultimately end up is contrary to God’s will, our Father simple says no. God is slow to anger and great in mercy, however, when what you do threatens to really mess up His plan, He acts.
God worked with the world before the flood for approximately 1600 years. Destroying mankind was the nuclear option, but YHWH took it because they left him no other choice. God only confused the language of Babylon when they decided to build the tower of Babel. Our Father caused every Israelite to perish in the wilderness over the age of 20 when they believed the evil report from the 10 spies. Not even Moses, but only Joshua and Caleb entered into the promised land from the previous generation. God even allowed His own temple to be destroyed when His people followed after idols and profaned His name.
Therefore, think it not strange that when you go off on your own and marry out of the will of God that He sometimes hits the reset button. This creation is about doing YHWH’s will and not yours.
God says,
” Hear the word of the Lord, ye rulers of Sodom; give ear unto the law of our God, ye people of Gomorrah. To what purpose is the multitude of your sacrifices unto me? saith the Lord: I am full of the burnt offerings of rams, and the fat of fed beasts; and I delight not in the blood of bullocks, or of lambs, or of he goats. When ye come to appear before me, who hath required this at your hand, to tread my courts? Bring no more vain oblations; incense is an abomination unto me; the new moons and sabbaths, the calling of assemblies, I cannot away with; it is iniquity, even the solemn meeting. Your new moons and your appointed feasts my soul hateth: they are a trouble unto me; I am weary to bear them. And when ye spread forth your hands, I will hide mine eyes from you: yea, when ye make many prayers, I will not hear: your hands are full of blood. Wash you, make you clean; put away the evil of your doings from before mine eyes; cease to do evil; Learn to do well; seek judgment, relieve the oppressed, judge the fatherless, plead for the widow. Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.”
Isaiah 1:10-18
God characterized His own people as rulers of Sodom and Gomorrah and told them that He didn’t even see the point of them performing His Law when they did evil. It was iniquity to do the very thing God commanded when their heart was not right before Him. Likewise, marriage is an abomination before God, if the people who practice it are not right before Him.
Even the marriage bed serves no purpose and is not blessed of God when people’s hearts are far from him. The very thing that God made so holy and good doesn’t please Him anymore if those who are doing it are not right with Him.
A divine divorce, one that God institutes, is a sestet to a bad situation. A Christian mistress can also be an Esther God has chosen to replace the disobedient queen Vashti. Natural minded believers tend to label everything that looks the same as the same, but this is often not the case with the Almighty. A woman who is lead of the Spirit to love a married man can be exactly in God’s will.
This applies also, but not as often, to a woman who is in bad marriage too. Basically, if person in a marriage want to follow Him, God mostly leaves it alone. However, if one or more want to follow His Spirit or is destined to do so, that is when God may take action to change the equation.
In conclusion, I say these things knowing that there is a potential for people who are carnally minded to misuse them. It always seems to be a choice between telling the truth to those who need to hear it, and keeping it from those who may use it to justify their lust and sin. Basically, what I conclude is that sinners will be sinners whether or not they have access to these truths. Conversely, those who walk softly before the Lord, will handle these precepts with care. The bottom line is that I cannot fear saying things to those who will leave Egypt, because those who won’t.
Finally, only you will stand before God at the Great White Throne Judgement. Only you will give an account for the deeds that you have done during this lifetime. Though I or others who have spoken to you may be judged for what we said, only you will be judged for what you did with it. Therefore, the responsibility to use the truth of Divine Divorce and Holy Intimacy properly rests upon you and no one else. Be strong, true, and faithful to what the Holy Spirit leads you to do and stand before God knowing that when He called, you answered.
Sincerely,
Michael
Beloved of the Lord,
When God draws you into a powerful spiritual connection, such as a Divine Mate, you battle a lot of preconceived ideas. Our whole society is set up pretty much opposite of what God originally intended, so it is little wonder that what God asks us to do seem contrary to everything we’ve been taught.
In fact, there is just way too much to unteach to explain why you are doing the right thing in God. I don’t even attempt to address these issues from a natural minded standpoint anymore. The only thing I can do is simply state the truth and let God speak to your heart and spirit. Literally everything that you have ever been taught sets you against what you are currently feeling led to do by God’s Spirit. Therefore, having begun in the Spirit, you must complete your journey by trusting His Spirit.
For example, if you tell a member of a remote tribe in the Amazon about refrigeration, they have literally never experienced anything frozen. Though your deep freeze absolutely exists, they must take it by faith that water freezes. Only if they come with you, again by faith, and experience ice for themselves, will they believe. Likewise, it’s only after you experience by faith what God is speaking that you will begin to understand it with your natural mind. Prior to actual experience, nothing in accepted christianity provides you with a frame of reference to understand these things.
the truth is, you felt led of God’s Spirit to fall in love with a married man. I assume this or you would not be reading this far into this topic. However, now that you have had time to “think” about what your doing, you’re not as sure you did the right thing. There are complications, no one understands you, and there is a lot of fear of the unknown. You have put yourself out there very far emotionally, spiritually, and physically with really not assurance of success except for what God tells you. This is a common experience for most who experience spiritual connections, however, you just have to trust God all the way.
Most people have to do this alone because I don’t know of another teaching like this in the church. However, I want to encourage you that what you are experiencing is the outer edges of a vast move of Divine Love that is about to sweep over God’s people. Those who are first in anything have to be very brave and courageous. In Martin Luther’s days you had to be brave simply to declare “the just shall live by faith”. During the first days of the restoration of speaking in other tongues in the early 1900’s, it was difficult too. Now, in these last days, as God restores the first love of Eden to His people, we must stand strong and resolute also.
You may not realize it, but your calling to love a married man is of momentous importance in the spiritual realm. God seeks to unite you with your Divine Mate forever and it is vitally important that you do so. The Devil hates Divine Mates with a malevolence we cannot understand and will battle you with everything she’s got. Just know, that if you are faithful in this situation which seems so contrary to everything everyone else believes, God will bless in ways you cannot yet imagine both now and in the world to come.
God bless,
Michael
Beloved,
Perhaps you noted that I did not go into the typical scripture study as to what is adultery and fornication. The truth is, that Jesus was talking to Pharisees who, when they did not like a certain law of God, simple found a way around it. Therefore, when they brought these questions to the son of God, he answered them in kind.
You are not a Pharisee. You do not tithe mint and cumin. You are a Spirit filled son or daughter of God and walk in the Spirit with Him. Therefore, you are not under the law of sin and death, but answer to God Himself.
When you walk in the Spirit, you naturally fulfilled the will of God. Most earthly marriages are not the will of God and so He just ignores them. This is something a natural minded person cannot comprehend, because they have accepted the false premise that all marriages are holy matrimony, ordained by God. This, of course, is rubbish. The whole basic premise of marriage is man-made. God made Divine Mates, man enshrined holy matrimony.
A marriage contract is an earthly contract, Divine Mates are God ordained unions that last forever. A Divine Mate is a higher calling than anything this natural world has to offer. This is because it is a picture of the union of Jesus and His Bride forever. Nothing you give up, nothing you suffer, will compare in the slightest to the glory that will be revealed in both of you both in this world and in the world to come.
Big hugs,
Michael
Dear Connections,
When the doctrine we believe ends up in absurdity, there is something wrong with the way we see things. I see legalists are so often without natural compassion, because there is no room for basic human decency in their belief system.
Take for instance the belief that once married, for whatever reason, you are now joined by God forever. By this reasoning, half the church is going to hell because they force those they divorce to commit adultery. It is like insisting that you marry an virgin in this day and age, good luck with that.
When your doctrine ends up doing the opposite of the heat of Christ, you are in error. I don’t care if you know and I don’t care if I can prove it, I just know that Jephthah made a foolish vow and should have fallen upon his own sword rather that sacrifice his daughter.
I hate legalism because it infects peoples souls, crushing them into lifeless subservience to a belief, often diametrically opposed to God’s love. Moreover, it is a disease that infects those around them, making them a two-fold more child of hell than they are.
Legalists often feel badly about the things they must do and say. They do not want to hurt others, but they feel they must to obey God’s word. It is almost like doing evil for the right reasons becomes a sacrifice they are willing to make for the greater good. Therefore, even to fellow Christians, they will say and do the most heinous things, knowing that they are keeping the faith.
The coming move of God’s Spirit is a tsunami of love that will cleanse so many of this spiritual leprosy. In the face of God’s love, all that has made them feel so superior and righteous we just not be important any longer.
Sincerely,
Michael
I am running out of time to deeply respond to this post in the way I would like. However, I can definitely glean some of the wisdom you have shared here. It causes me to reflect on what I have navigated through over the years on this topic (although, I have never been called to love a man married to another woman.. unless you want to count the call to love my ex-husband when he divorced me and married his affair partner, lol).
If led, I will come back and post more… but specifically what you said about the will of others and the will of God and the timing of it all, was extremely helpful for me! I have often been called to some very unorthodox situations and it really helped me to have an “aha” moment.. and also understand where God calls me to very challenging situations.
It’s been interesting reading through your writings!
Much love and blessings to you!
~Jenean
Dear Jenean,
Very kewl. I like reading your perspectives too. You are very interesting person!
Big hugs and lots of love,
Michael
Jenean, I think you are not alone in your journey! You said, “I have often been called to some very unorthodox situations and it really helped me to have an “aha” moment.. and also understand where God calls me to very challenging situations.”
I think for the Bride of Christ – those who are truly in love with Him, and even for those called to be His Bride that don’t yet know him – He is stretching all of us and drawing us into His new “move” (for lack of a better word) that is coming upon the earth. (Michael and I identify it as the “Tabernacle Blessing” – others may have other descriptions for it). Those who have ears to hear are listening and catching it – but it seems to take us very far outside the “normal” Christian experience, which, unfortunately, causes many to reject what they feel God is leading them into.
You mentioned in one of your comments that you have been on this journey since 2014 – that is the same year that God drew me into a new passion to know His love and intimacy with Him, and then He opened up a whole new spiritual world for me as I followed Him into it. And you and I are not the only ones I have heard about that had some type of “spiritual awakening” starting that year. . .Interesting.
Thanks for sharing!
Blessings and love to you –
Christi
Dear Connections,
The truth is, this world is messed up and we have drifted very far from what God originally intended. It is just that we have not realized how deeply the deception goes and how tightly we are enmeshed in it.
Therefore, when God comes to us and shows us what He really wants, we are startled, thinking that it cannot possibly be true.
The truth is, that many “affairs” or “sudden loves” are God trying to fix the bad situation that people created for themselves in the first place. A woman told me the other day that the reason that she can’t submit to a man is that men are not good. However, my answer to that is: allow God to lead you to the man of His choice, then he will be good man that you can submit to.
Likewise, assuming that our earthly marriages, no matter how we come into them, are God’s will is simply ludicrous. Nothing could be further from the truth. Only that which God puts together, should no man put asunder. However, if you entered into an earthly contract with a man or woman – out of God’s will – God simply does not recognize nor honor it.
In the end, only those who trust God with every part of their lives will fulfill His ultimate desire for them. The just shall life by faith – in every area. If you allow your marriage to drag you to hell, because you would not listen to the Holy Spirit and make the change necessary to correct your mistake, then the blame rests squarely on your shoulders and no one else’s.
Big hugs and lots of love,
Michael
So if you are a male, you can marry your first love then dump them once you are wealthy and with status because by then, your wife has aged, children (unfortunate product s) are “unworthy ” next to God Ordained young mistress?
And God’s grace is applicable to only Christian mistress, not MALE mistress? How convenient for Michael
Dear Anonymous,
I sense your distress and pain. When I use the term, Christian Mistress, I am referring to, in fact, a Divine Mate of God’s choosing. I am using, in the first instance, the terminology of the world which is really a misnomer when it is used to refer woman or a man who is replacing a current spouse as a Divine Mate.
To be clear, having a mistress and eventually replaces a wife for no other reason than the man’s sexual desire, its not of God. I am not talking about that, unfortunately, common situation in the world. What I am speaking about is a Divine Connection that God fosters for the sake of His kingdom and correcting foolish vows.
You are correct, both men and women make unwise choices when they wed in this world, but in some instances, what many would call a “mistress” or perhaps an “affair,” is simply God doing his best to correct foolish vows. This is what I am addressing. I want people to be clear about this so there is no confusion. I oppose adultery and fornication, but I support God’s sovereign right to fix what man breaks.
You do bring up an interesting point, though, about what to do with the current wife and children if God is leading you to marry another, more suitable mate. The answer is not always the same in every situation. The fact is, if you have married unwisely God is not against your children, just sometimes your marriage. God simply wants to realign the man or women with someone that He can accomplish His will with. In my experience, when a man or woman is led to Divine Divorce, our Father makes provision for both them and their children. It is not a matter of simply dropping one mate or “trading up” to meet ones fleshly needs or pride. If a man, for instance, simply wants a younger model for his own self-centered reasons, that is not God, that is simple a man calling the sin he wants to do God.
The same applies for a woman if her motivations for breaking a marriage is to get some younger man or even just a different man, because she is unhappy with her first choice. In that situation, the woman may simply makes the same mistake again, just with another person and is still very far from the heart and will of our Lord. If either party just uses and discard another person for their convenience that is not His will and it is not what I am speaking to in this essay.
Moreover, in some cultures, if the first wife is pleased to dwell with her husband, even if he takes another wife, that is permissible by law and according to the Old Testament, okay. Including a Divine Mate in the picture does not always mean getting rid of the other person. Jacob was Divine Mates with Rachel, but his sister Leah was included in the picture and God was fine with that arrangement. In fact, half of the nation of Israel came through Jacob’s and Leah’s union. However, Hagar was not. It is all up to God – frankly.
Lastly, children are always a good idea in God and His will. Though, if you have married out of God’s will, He may not be as inclined to bless you union, that does not mean He discriminates against your children. You are still fulfilling His commandment to go forth, be fruitful and multiply. Though, because of your unwise choice, you man not be a suitable a mate, still you can be good parents, raising your children in the fear and admonition of the Lord. Children are not “unfortunate products” but special creations of our Lord.
What I am talking about is a Godly man or woman who wakes up one day, at the leading of God’s Spirit, and realizes that they have made a foolish vow. They realize, again by His Spirit, the the constant war between them and their spouse is actually hindering God’s will. They don’t hate the person they married, they just realize that they did not get His permission to wed that person.
Repenting of a mistake, be it a lie, hating your brother, envy, or any other type of sin, even marrying the wrong person, means to turn away from that choice which displeases God. Some people actually need to “repent” of their marriages, because they have messed up God’s plan for themselves, their spouse and their generations by marrying unwisely. Moreover, their are offend consequences for their action both in the natural realm and in the spiritual. It is never easy to leave a relationship. Some have built their lives around choices that seem right to their natural minds, but turned out to be not God’s will at all. What does one do in such a difficult time? You act as much like a loving Christian as you can, you are not mean or spiteful, but allow God to correct the mistake as gently as possible. While this is not always easy when the other side wants to fight, still you can be a Christ-like towards that person. God will lead you through it if you allow Him to do so.
Anyone can use anything wrongly if they stubbornly want to. A man, who reads about Divine Divorce, could potentially use this truth to outwardly justify sleep around or for just trading up for a younger model. A woman could sin in the same way. The error is still the same, they both sin and are just labeling their self-willed lusts God. However, people do this all the time, but God is not mocked, nor is He or anyone else fooled.
If, for instance, a godly woman is with such a man who would dump her and her children simply for selfish reasons, without being truly lead of God’s Spirit to do so, perhaps it is a blessing in disguise which might allow her to find and marry a true man of integrity. With God all this are possible.
In conclusion, I disagree with your assertion that if you are male you can just discard women and their children. If that is what you have gleaned from what I write, you did not catch the true meaning and heard intent of my essay. When I am talking about a Christian Mistress I am, in fact, talking about a Divine Mate that is simply mislabeled by the world at a mistress, when reality, in God’s eyes, she is a potential Divine Mate. Women have be poaching other women’s men from time immemorial and that is not spirit lead either. I am speaking to those women God is bringing into the lives of men (of integrity) who need to be wed to someone God picked, not just a natural minded choice that He never approved of in the first place.
Sincerely,
Michael