What Happened To Us?
We have all heard that the initial intense love relationship between two lovers tends to fail a year or two into the relationship. People say the “madly in love” stage is said to be transitory. However, is that really so or is there another reason that we do not continue to be deeply and passionately in love?
One possible reason may be that people try to fill the longing and need they have for God with the love that should only be filling the need they have for a mate. The couples love is simply stretched too thin and, while it initially satisfies all their needs, eventually it fails.
When natural love is not enough
We are all created with a what is termed “Olam” in Hebrew. That is, our Lord fashions a God-shaped vacuum in our innermost being that only He can fill. Many spend their lives trying this thing or that thing to satisfy their need for a relationship with the Almighty. Women, Drugs, Money, Fame, Power etc. can’t fill this void but no matter how hard they try.
When lovers fall out of love
People, who have this inner need for God, initially feel “made whole” when they fall deeply in love. There is a sense of fulfillment, purpose, and all the world becomes right for a season. However, our need for God is so profound that no earthly love can satisfy it for very long. As the initial feeling of completeness begins to wear off people fear they are falling out of love. What is actually happening, though, is that their need for God resurfaces and that brings about their dissatisfaction.
What is needed is for people to have a strong love relationship with each other and with God. You can have both for they are not mutually exclusive. When God is satisfied with an ongoing and deepening relationship, you can spend your earthly love where it belongs.
Allow God to be in the center of your love
God continually repleshes your Olam (inner need for God) when you align yourself with His plan. Truly, the “madly in love stage” never has to fail if God fills us. If you want your love relationship to deepen simply love God and satisfy all your needs at the same time.
Dear Brethren,
When you listen to Pink you instantly know what she’s singing about. Many of us have experienced the euphoria of falling in love only to have it slip away little by little. It is like slow, painful death that leaves our souls wondering what happened.
In fact, what happens when we first fall head over heels for someone is that we enter for a moment into true love, the kind that existed in Eden. It feels so right and brings life to us because we were created by God to know such agage love. However, such love cannot be sustained except by the Spirit of god Himself. Our own earthly love will always ultimately fail leaving us disappointed. Thankfully there is hope for God’s love never fails.
Only when we allow God to love through us, to possess us body, heart, and soul, can we love completely and unreservedly. It is an experience just like being filled with the Holy Spirit. We can ask and receive the love of God just like asking for the Holy Spirit. The key is to be willing to open up to Jesus so that He can live His life through you. Not I, but Christ that lives in us. This is what happened in the first century when Peter walked through the streets and healing people by his shadow. It was not Peter who healed but Christ in Peter, living and walking among His people once again, who performed the miracles through him.
Jesus suffered the Cross willingly because the love that dwelt inside him empowered him to endure the shame and torture for us. He loved us so desperately that He willingly took our place and suffered our fate so we would not have too. Likewise, it is only the very nature of God, who is love, that can enable us to love so completely. In heaven there will never be seperation because the love of God will unite us forever.
I also wonder Michael if we fall out of love with someone because they are *not* our Divine Mate.
When the love is not of the Divine, it is just a stage, and eventually that God-sized hole re-asserts itself.
Yet in my experience, my Divine (male) Mate is the image of God reflected to me on earth. He (unknowingly and without consciousness attached) leads me to fully understand God and the Bible from the depths of my soul rather than just intellectually. Almost each week as I pray to God about the DM there is a new insight…they just keep coming. He reflects God to me, and I feel that in a way God loves me through the DM. I truly hope that the same happens for the DM through me (I think it does).
I fall more in love with the DM as time passes. And I’ve had much longer than the requisite period of limerence to get to know the DM. Each day my little Grinchy heart grows another size to accommodate more of DM, and I think also more of God’s love. It’s just a whole other level of feeling…something you can’t really explain to someone that hasn’t experienced it. But this God-sized hole seems to ever be more filled with the DM and thereby with God himself, as God loves me through the DM. I can only hope I fill the DM’s God-sized hole as well…
Not so full that we don’t need God anymore… though I can’t imagine this leading to that. It is my DM that leads me to understand how thoroughly God must know me and understand me and have a personal interest in me. Otherwise His gift could not be nearly so perfectly fitted for me… God’s gifts are truly Kingly…just like Solomon asked for wisdom and was given riches and long life and women too…. I needed intellectual stimulation and a connection…I can forgive a ton of sins in the looks department. And yet God made him gorgeous as well (well, he is to me anyhow…he’s probably not everyone’s taste). And…well I could be biased…I am aware I see him with love-colored glasses. But I didn’t NEED looks…yet God gave them anyhow (looks at least to MY liking) on top of the necessary things. God doesn’t stop at good enough…He gives truly kingly gifts.
I wonder Michael…does everyone have a Divine Mate? I know few people find him /her, but does everyone have one? I’m not sure how to guide my kids. So often DM’s find each other late in the game it seems… partly because they didn’t know to wait for each other.
Dear Anon,
Thanks for commenting again, I always appreciate your thoughts and questions.
One of the hallmarks of a true Divine Mate is revelation. That is, when you are joined with someone that our Lord has chosen, He flows through them to you and flows through you to them. The Divine Connection is not just between earthly mates, but between the two who are made one flesh and our God above. This is how our Lord intended men and women to mate and bring forth after His kind. This is why Adam and Eve were a perfect representation of God in the Garden of Eden. We are the last Eve.
One of the things I notice when you write is the spark of revelation that runs through your thoughts. Although, from your perspective it probably feels like these things are self evident, flesh and blood has not revealed such truths to you. You see clearly because God is filling you as you yield your heart and mind to Him in loving who He has chosen for you. Our Father always blesses what He authors.
Likewise, the Body of Christ taken as a whole, will connect to one another by His Spirit in profound revelation, the likes of which hasn’t been heard since Jesus walked the earth 2000 years ago. I believe this is when the true gospel shall be preached to the ends of the world.
You wrote,
“When the love is not of the Divine, it is just a stage, and eventually that God-sized hole re-asserts itself.”
In my opinion, God’s original intent was for everyone to be paired with their Divine Mate. It just makes sense that our Father would have continued the pattern of putting two together as He did with Adam and Eve. However, due to sin and our natural minds, things have gotten messed up until sometimes whole societies stand against two people marrying whom God directs. To my mind, arranged marriages are the Devils direct opposition to Divine Mates. Some men and women in other countries even risk death to marry whom they are drawn too. Romeo and Juliet is an expression of this type of terrible coercion.
Likewise, the churches prohibition against divorce and remarriage is a similar attack on Divine Mates. For even if two people make a foolish vow in their ignorance, they counsel them to stay together no matter what circumstances they face.
I believe you are correct in saying the Olam, or the God-shaped void within each of us, cannot be filled by earthly love and that is why many people fall out of love once they have been together a short while. In my experience, when you are joined to a Divine Mate, everything about the relationship progresses into deeper and deeper intimacy of soul, heart, body, and spirit. To be sure, if one or both of those who are Divine Mates chose not to continue on with God for some reason, this to can be broken, but the bond of the Holy Spirit is incredibly strong and, all things being equal, your bond will last from now until eternity and beyond. In fact, Divine Mates are one of the only unions that will last beyond this present world and into the next.
In the end, it is best to trust our Father for He does wish to give us good gifts. A Divine Mate, other than salvation and children, is perhaps the greatest gift of all in this present creation. We should fight for our Divine Mate and believe God for them no matter what. I believe that in the coming move of Restoration that Jesus is about to bring upon all believers and non believers alike, Divine Mates will be one of the “Signs” of this revival. Restoration means that God will restore and realign all that is crooked in His people and many, in that day, will repent in many areas, including their earthly marriages.
Big hugs and lots of love,
Michael