Seraph Hunter 3 Chapter 17: For Derek
Peace flees
The image of the dark-haired Fey kissing her Derek burned like scalding water. Not only was the first pain unbearable, but what lingered throbbed and blistered. The dark-haired beauties’ long locks of curly sheen falling over her brown shoulders, full breasts hanging, ripe underneath her garment, made Fallon feel small, inadequate – worthless.
She felt like hitting herself, inflicting pain any way she could to distract her aching heart. Eyes aflame with jealousy, she cried out loud, “Derek’s mine! He’s the only one I’ve got!” then she wondered, Were they purposely shaming me? Taunting me with my own man?! How could they be that cruel. Those women had no right! No right at all. They don’t know him, care for him like I do, Fallon reasoned. Yet, they were beautiful. . . and she was not. Their full figures were pleasing to a handsome man like Derek, while her own form was skinny as a rail. Lips not full and luscious like theirs. She just couldn’t compete. It was over. She’d lost before she’d even got her chance.
Why did I talk all night at the saloon rather than make love to him? she thought as the cold stone of the building felt hard on her back. She’d been so close, he’d have made love to her, she felt sure of it. Knowing him now, she was sure he’d have been gentle, even loving. Maybe that would have helped now – at least Derek would have known how much she cared for him, held his heart fast as those foreign women came after him. Envy, like acid, stung, corroding deep. The picture of their faces close to his, him leaning back, enjoying himself ate through her. Who was she kidding? She couldn’t be anything like that to him.
Curtain falling
Like a curtain falling over her eyes, she looked around. The city of Fey, ancient, but in poor repair, was mostly empty. Somehow, it looked less appealing than just a few hours ago. The people who did walk past her didn’t talk to one another, let alone her. They looked preoccupied, all about some unseen business of their own, or simply walking around for God knows what reason. She didn’t care.
What a fool. She remembered running out of the house, away from Brenzel, half knowing what she was doing was unwise, but wanting so desperately to be with Derek. As long as the hat was present, she guessed she wouldn’t know where to get him. It was a stupid, desperate move alright, and she’d found him – and paid for it. Another crying fit overtook her of great remorseful sobs flowing from her eyes, nose, and heaving chest. She’d lost him forever. If she didn’t have him, there was nothing left to live for. Death would be a kindness, a blessed release, a comfort. Yes, that was the only way out now, the only possible course of action. End it, end her pain. The hope of nothingness, eternal black, felt like a light at the end of her desperate tunnel. It was a revelation – Just stop it all, be done with her endless troubles. Derek would stay with Fey and be happy, without her.
Method to her madness
Drying her eyes, she thought hard how to do it. She could hang herself, but she didn’t have any rope. She could find a knife, but she couldn’t stand the sight of blood. She could jump off a building, but how to get on top of a high enough one, that was a problem. She couldn’t swim, yes, that was it. Imagining herself jumping into the river flowing at the entrance of the City of Fey, seemed the obvious, easiest way. Once she plunged in the water, she’d quickly sink to the bottom and that would be that. She could even hold a stone as long as she could. Breathing a great sigh of relief, though she still felt her pain, the fact that it would be over soon. . . well, that was enough hope to carry on a little bit longer.
Her feet walked quickly over the stone ways, down the many stairs, and into the broad street that formed the entrance to Fey’s city. Her face set, little emotion showing, Fallon determined to end it, once and for all, leaving this cruel world for others to face.
Fallon, it’s me!
“Fallon!” came the shout.
She ignored it, walking faster.
“Fallon, stop!”
It was closer now, she broke into a trot. Just a little further.
Then right behind, she heard someone running up and a hand grabbing her shoulder, a winded voice saying, “Fallon, it’s me!”
Struggling, trying to break free, she fought the arms that threw themselves around her. “Let me go, stop it!” she shouted, turning around to face her attacker. The moment she stood still enough, Brenzel tipped her hat, causing it to appear, her uniform materializing, too.
The feeling, that awful feeling of needing to end it all, faded, as she focused on the green eyes of her mentor, Brenzel looking anxiously into her blank expression as she held her face in her warm hands.
“Brenzel?” Fallon asked, blinking.
“Yes, it’s me…breathe, Dear.”
Grip letting go of Brenzel’s arms, Fallon’s own arms dropped to her sides as she felt reason return to her heart, body relaxed and head cleared.
“Fallon, where were you going?”
Remembering, putting her hand to her chest, she said in a hushed tone, “…I was going to throw myself in the river…it was the only way…oh my God.”
Brenzel’s face showed immense concern. “I think we have to leave this place,” she said, “we’re outnumbered and Fey seems to be too strong. At least go for awhile, until we figure out what to do.”
“But what about Derek?” Fallon asked, “He…he is… Fey.”
“No, I can’t believe that,” Brenzel said. “Yes, he seems controlled by her, but we’ll figure out a way to get him out. But first I need time to think. Lets get some supplies and our things, then leave.”
What if she won’t let us?
“What if Fey won’t let us?”
“As long as we have our hats on, I don’t think she’ll be able to stop us. Besides, I have a feeling she’d like to see us gone, anyway.”
“So, we’re going to come back for Derek, promise?”
“Oh yes, this Fey lady isn’t going to have her way this time, not with Derek! Come on, let’s get going, just be sure keep your hat on.”
Looking back down towards the river, Fallon shuddered. She’d never felt that way before, not ever, no matter what she’d been through. Now, today…
Brenzel, reached down, taking one of the guns from its holster, and looking at it, said, “You know, I really don’t know what these things do, I’ve never even tried one before.”
Then Fallon saw her mentor look up at the city and say, “Maybe it’s time we find out. For Derek’s sake”
Fallon, looked up too, face set like flint, “for Derek.”