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My logic is undeniable

****Hatty is taken to Elysia by Dove and Libby before the others board the airship***

“You always have to control everything!” Hatty said, raising her voice to a shrill pitch. “I’m not a puppet!”

“My logic is undeniable,” 3 repeated calmly.

“Logic? Is that what our relationship has become now? An equation? I thought you loved me!”

“But Hatty…”

“No buts! I commanded an entire empire! I made life and death decisions for thousands, headed successful trade missions. Just because you’re an archangel doesn’t mean you’re always right.” Hatty quieted, holding back tears. “Other people have insight too, intuition, needs, feelings, not everything’s a calculation.” Pausing she sat down on the ______ chair behind her. “You always think you know it all.” Then she slammed her hands on the arms of the chair and stood again. “Well you don’t! You don’t know anything!”

She turned away, feeling her belly. “I need to be with you, 3, I don’t want to stay behind.”

3 didn’t respond.

She turned back to him and stood as tall as she could, folding her arms defiantly. “I’m coming along and that’s it, no more discussion about it.” Hatty’s face felt so hard she was sure it could break stone. Yet inside… inside she felt like she was falling apart, like shattered glass about to fall into a million pieces on the floor. So many things had been taken away from her, lost in time, so many scars on her still beating heart. 3 was the one constant that kept her ship on course; her bright north star. Didn’t he see? Didn’t he know? How could he be so dense!

Desperate

Looking up at her lover, she felt desperate, knowing that he could be as hard as stone, too, all full of precision and surety, carrying that abacus like a sword. Those beads cut so deep sometimes, she hated them. Yet, today, right now, with everything inside her, Hatty wanted his love to override his reason. She had to go with him, especially now…

She saw the way he studied her, searching in her belligerent looks for an answer that she wouldn’t grant. He looked, to her, more concerned than perturbed, more surprised than angered.

You wanted me, now you’ve got me, Edenite emotions and all, she thought, holding her ground with what little resolve and stubborn streak she had left. Yet she knew her walls were crumbling, a breach forming in her demand.

Finally, at last, he spoke, “I can see you’re upset. It is not my intention to make you angry, my love.” Crossing his arms, his face troubled. “Frankly, I don’t understand why you are angry.” He paused, as if considering something else. “It’s just…”

“What,” Hatty said, relaxing a bit and unfolding her arms.

“It’s just that I can’t,” 3 put his arms out, palms up, shaking them. “I can’t see the future any longer. You don’t understand what that means to me, Hatty, for a seer to be blind. It feels like I can’t protect you any longer. I scared I lose you after what happened on the bridge of Alfheim.”

Undone

Suddenly, Hatty saw the most powerful man she’d ever known become undone before eyes, tears on his unsure face.

“If you had died,” he said softly, “I don’t know what I would have done. Looking at you, hanging on to life, couldn’t imagine my life without you in it.” Emotion showing on his face, wiping his eyes. “For the first time in my long life, I felt fear, Hatshepsut. I’m afraid I might lose you. I love you, I can’t live without you.”

Like an morning glory kissed by the warm sun, Hatty opened her heart, feelings of adoration welling up inside. Crossing the room she hugged the big angel with all her might, tears beginning to soak his shirt. She felt the same way; that her very life force was bound up in his too. “I can’t live without you either,” she whispered. “3, I love you, I love you with all my heart. Thank you for loving me, I need your strength.” Looking up at him and wiping her tears, she said, “I’m sorry I got angry. I know you love me and want what’s best for me.”

Feeling his arms around her, holding her gently, tenderly, Hatty felt very safe.

“Okay,” 3 said softly, “you can come with us. But if things get too rough, you’ll have to go somewhere safe. I can’t perform my mission properly and worry about you at the same time.”

“Thank you, thank you,” Hatty said, head buried in his chest again. Knowing she needed to be as close to him as possible, after a moment she lifted her head, her eyes gazing up into his strong features, “Make love to me 3…please.”

***

After their noon siesta, that evening Hatty sat alone on the deck of the ship. She looked out on the city, acrid smelling smoke still rising from the place the dragon had burned. She felt bluer than blue, all her emotions bubbling up like a pot on a rolling boil.

What was all this for? The war, the struggle, the uncertainty. It was so against life, the antithesis of all that was good and really mattered. Why fight at all? She wished the world could stop, so she could get off and find peace for even a short while.

“Hatty?” Brenzel’s voice came from behind her shoulder.

I just want to be alone, she thought. But turning, she said, “Hi dear.”

“What are you doing alone?” Brenzel’s face questioned as she sat next to her on a sack of potatoes, yet to be loaded into the galley’s stores.

“Just thinking,” she sighed, putting her left hand out, Brenzel taking it gently.

What’s wrong Hatty?

“What’s wrong, Hatty? You seem troubled,” Brenzel asked.

Bursting into tears, Hatty put her face in her hands, “I don’t know…I was so mean to 3 this morning, I said terrible things. He was so nice and understanding even though I was awful. He wasn’t even angry. I’ve never done that to him before.”

Brenzel waited for her to go on, pulling herself closer, putting her arm across Hatty’s back. “Sometimes it happens,” she said after a moment. “One thing I’m sure of, Hatty, you’re deeply in love with 3 and he adores you.”

Leaning over onto Brenzel’s shoulder, Hatty leaned in to her friend’s arm around her. “I’m such a wreck,” she said, wiping her nose with her sleeve, wishing she had a handkerchief.

“Brenzel,” Hatty said, looking up into her eyes, “you’re my best friend, you know that don’t you?”

“Yes,” the tall blond smiled squeezing her a little. “Forever.”

Outside his door

“You know, I so clearly remember the first time I went to 3,” Hatty continued, gazing out over the city. “I felt compelled by some kind of force. My mind said I was just feeling sexual and wanted a man. I admit, I was burning up inside as I walked through my palace. My loins ached with desire and I felt like a fool as I stood outside his door. I almost turned away, but I knocked anyway.”

Brenzel stroked her hair but said nothing.

“I could barely breathe,” she whispered, “I wanted him so much. When he opened the door. . .” she shook her head, “Ah, I don’t know how to describe what I felt.”

“Like nothing in the world was more right than that moment?” Brenzel offered.

“Yes! Exactly,” Hatty said, looking up at Brenzel. “Like everything in my life had led me to him, to his arms, like it was meant to be.”

Brenzel looked at her and smiled.

“When he makes love to me,” Hatty said, sitting up and letting Brenzel’s arms fall. “When he makes love to me, I just want him to be part of me forever. I feel complete, whole, like I’m home.” Tears began to flow again, as her voice cracked, “It’s so much more than just physical, it’s beyond what I can describe.”

Brenzel raised her eyebrows as she looked at her. “Hatty?”

“Yes…”

“What’s really going on with you? You’re never this emotional.”

“They want me to stay behind! Brenzel!” Putting her hands to her tummy, she looked Brenzel in the eyes, worry rising on her face, “Brenzel, I think I’m pregnant.”

SEOIB.