Who You Marry Is Incredibly Important both to you and also to your generations
Foundations are important both in the natural and spiritual realms. People who lay a foundation incorrectly may cause the whole structure to crumble and fall. So too, in the spiritual realm, we must lay our foundations right also.
God says,
“Whosoever cometh to me, and heareth my sayings, and doeth them, I will shew you to whom he is like: He is like a man which built an house, and digged deep, and laid the foundation on a rock: and when the flood arose, the stream beat vehemently upon that house, and could not shake it: for it was founded upon a rock.”
Luke 6: 47,49
We must hear and even more importantly “do what He says” in order for our houses to stand. Moreover, to hear God’s voice, requires more than just the physical ability to hear sound.
Jesus also said in the book of Mark,
“And when Jesus knew it, he saith unto them, Why reason ye, because ye have no bread? perceive ye not yet, neither understand? have ye your heart yet hardened? Having eyes, see ye not? and having ears, hear ye not? and do ye not remember?”
Mark 8:17,18
Though His disciples heard His words they did not perceive the intent. To soften our hearts towards God we must open our minds to receive His truth. Believers truly hear God’s voice when they set their wills and wants aside. How God views situations often necessitates a profound shift in our understanding. This is a true saying:
“As we become willing to obey we also become able to hear.”
God is concerned about our generations. It is particularly important to God where we come from and what our lineage is. This is one reason that genealogies are so meticulously kept in the scriptures. Who your father was and to a lesser extent who your mother was is very important to the Holy Spirit.
Likewise, from the Garden of Eden it has always been God’s intention to choose our mate. We see this fact illustrated when God brought and presented Eve to Adam as a helpmate.
In the book of Genesis God states:
“And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.”
Genesis 2:21,22
And again God appointed a certain woman for Isaac to marry. Furthermore, He sent His angel ahead of Abraham’s servant to assist him,
“The LORD God of heaven, which took me from my father’s house, and from the land of my kindred, and which spake unto me, and that sware unto me, saying, Unto thy seed will I give this land; he shall send his angel before thee, and thou shalt take a wife unto my son from thence.”
“And let it come to pass, that the damsel to whom I shall say, Let down thy pitcher, I pray thee, that I may drink; and she shall say, Drink, and I will give thy camels drink also: let the same be she that thou hast appointed for thy servant Isaac; and thereby shall I know that thou hast shewed kindness unto my master.”
Genesis 24:7,14
God is very interested in who we marry
God is very interested in who we marry, why? It is because of our generations that God wants to be intimately involved in our choice of spouse. When we choose a mate we affect our own lives, but we also affect our future decedents. When a child is born, it is important whether or not the parents are godly. One of the reasons that God called Abraham friend was that he would raise his decedents in YHWH’s ways. God says,
“And the LORD said, Shall I hide from Abraham that thing which I do; Seeing that Abraham shall surely become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of the earth shall be blessed in him? For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment; that the LORD may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him.”
Genesis 18:17-19
You have to have you heavenly Father’s permission
It is my belief that Christians should not marry until they have sought out and received permission from God. So much depends upon our choice, that this decision is too important to be left to our natural minds. Some believe that our selection of a spouse is purely our decision, but that is simply not so. We need the counsel of God and His foreknowledge in order to marry our appointed mate.
Much is made of romantic love and sexual attraction in western civilization. Most people would never consider marriage unless they were passionately attracted to their mate. However, as good as such passion is, when it causes us to choose mates that our heavenly Father does not approve of we greatly err, and more importantly, we may cause our future decedents to err also.
Who you marry can make you sad
I remember that one day I was at a convenience store and an old woman started talking with me for no apparent reason. She told me that many years before she had fallen in love with a man whom was a Mormon believer thinking that he would leave his beliefs and convert to mainline Christianity. Unfortunately, The man refused to convert and all their children were now firmly entrenched in the Mormon Church.
I still remember the sadness in her eyes as she spoke of how she prayed daily for her children to know Jesus as their personal Lord and savior. Perhaps, if this woman would have heard and trusted the voice of God more she would have spared herself and her generations the introduction of this error.
Here is a truth.
“Many Christians marry the wrong people simply because they did not consult God as to their choice of mate before marriage.”
Two of the most misunderstood doctrines in the Christian church are the doctrines of marriage and divorce. Most Christians believe that whomever you have married under whatever circumstances must remain your husband or wife for life. However, in the light of eternity, God decides what is best for both you and your generations.
Perhaps, because you did not receive God’s approval you are married against His will. Now you are wed to an unbeliever or even to a Christian spouse whose heart is not fully towards God. Maybe, because of your indiscretion, you’ve built a life around a spouse that will cause your generations to not know God. In such cases, our Lord feels no obligation to bless such a union.
Ezra speaks
God says in the book of Ezra,
“Now when these things were done, the princes came to me, saying, The people of Israel, and the priests, and the Levites, have not separated themselves from the people of the lands, doing according to their abominations, even of the Canaanites, the Hittites, the Perizzites, the Jebusites, the Ammonites, the Moabites, the Egyptians, and the Amorites. For they have taken of their daughters for themselves, and for their sons: so that the holy seed have mingled themselves with the people of those lands: yea, the hand of the princes and rulers hath been chief in this trespass.And when I heard this thing, I rent my garment and my mantle, and plucked off the hair of my head and of my beard, and sat down astonied. “
“And Shechaniah the son of Jehiel, one of the sons of Elam, answered and said unto Ezra, We have trespassed against our God, and have taken strange wives of the people of the land: yet now there is hope in Israel concerning this thing. Now therefore let us make a covenant with our God to put away all the wives, and such as are born of them, according to the counsel of my lord, and of those that tremble at the commandment of our God; and let it be done according to the law. Arise; for this matter belongeth unto thee: we also will be with thee: be of good courage, and do it.”
They took strange wives
“And among the sons of the priests there were found that had taken strange wives: namely, of the sons of Jeshua the son of Jozadak, and his brethren; Maaseiah, and Eliezer, and Jarib, and Gedaliah. And they gave their hands that they would put away their wives; and being guilty, they offered a ram of the flock for their trespass.”
Ezra 9:1-3, Ezra 10:2-4,18,19
If you marry out of the will of God, you do err
Their disobedience in marrying the wrong people would lead them into idolatry and threatened to destroy God’s chosen people. God caused them to repent and put away their wives. God did so in order to set the nation of Israel back upon the path of righteousness. This is a shocking truth, nevertheless, it is how God dealt with their disobedience.
Spend time in prayer asking God to join you together with His “best choice” for your spouse. Unfortunately, the one which God may choose for you may not even be on your list of candidates. However, if we rely upon our Lord, we will find that He is always right.
Sister, choose only as God leads
It is particularly important that women choose the man that God has predestined you to marry. Women conform to their husband naturally. If your husband doesn’t wish to follow the Lord, it is difficult for you to reach your potential in God. In the worst-case scenario you may even lose your very salvation.
The Bible states, “what God has joined together let no man put asunder”. People often quote this scripture as proof that they should remain in marriages that are obviously detrimental. However, the “let no man put asunder” is based upon the premise that God “joined” them together in the first place. Therefore, if you didn’t receive His approval to marry, why assume that God automatically approved of your, “I do”?
Marriage is of the heart
In the eyes of God, marriage is of the heart and not a civil contract. Marriage is a level of heart commitment that warrants consummation between a man and his wife. Consequently, if that level of commitment and love exists between a man and woman worthy of marriage, God considers them married whether or not they possess a civil license.
Likewise, if a man and woman hate each other, but live together, no marriage exists in the eyes of God. When viewed through our Father’s perspective things start to make sense and the fog of inconstancy starts to dissipate. Sometimes, the people that we have judged to be sinners are more righteous than those who “did things right”.
God says in the book of Isaiah,
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD.For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts”
Isaiah 55:8,9
Always consult and receive God’s counsel and approval to divorce. God does hate divorce and will not lead you to break your marriage lightly. If God does lead you to divorce it will be because of the eternal effect upon you and your generations. People divorce for all sorts of reasons that are not of God and thus are sin.
In my view a person should only divorce if God has plainly given you His approval to do so. It is an individual decision before God and thus another cannot know it if you are divorcing correctly. We believe every man and woman gives an account when Jesus opens the books. Nothing is hid in that day and you’ll receive gain or loss according to what you did during your lifetime.
Know and listen to God’s voice
The bottom line is that one must know, trust, and listen to the voice of the Holy Spirit. As far as the law of the Spirit of life is concerned there are no absolute rules on marriage or divorce. Each circumstance is unique and requires the counsel of God for that particular situation. Truth is, God may not give you permission because He foreknows your spouse will have a change of heart. Likewise, God may not approve of an apparently good marriage and you might be lead to dissolve it. It is really all about His will.
Align with God
Come into alignment with God’s will in every area of your life, not just the ones that don’t cost you much. If God did not ordain your spouse and you’ve built your life upon a faulty marriage, set it right. Failure to do so will adversely affect your life, and most importantly, the countless lives of your generations to come.
Suggested book: “The Compassionate Side of Divorce.” By C.S. Lovett
