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In the afterglow of the Spirit

In the afterglow of our heavenly encounter with God in His holy of Holies, neither one of us knew what to do with ourselves.  Giddy with excitement, blown away, awestruck, none of these terms quite do justice to the way we felt.

I, for one, could not seem to write anything for days.  Normally, the revelation had been coming so fast that my output increased to one or more posts per day. However, in the afterglow of being in the presence of God, in His heavenly temple, what more is there to say on anything?

Finally, I took the next step

I experienced the Tabernacle Blessing 30 years ago. During that time I felt that there was a next step to take. Unfortunately, before I could take that step, persecution rose to such a fever pitch that I could not progress any further.  It was like the Devil wanted to prevent us from going where God beckoned, at all costs.

Becoming that close to Esther, in the Spirit, also brought up deep emotions that lay buried all these years.  In the Spirit, there was literally nothing between us, even our bodies.  We merged when we touched, completely unashamed of ourselves.  I remember being so close to some of my connections that it began to feel that way, but this was something way different.

Feeling raw and exposed

Oddly enough, as good as I felt in the Spirit, when I came out of that afterglow, my emotions felt raw and exposed. Being with Esther felt as natural and as intimate as breathing.  I remembered back when I lost my connections through persecution.  Being one with Esther brought up all those painful memories.

Esther, completely comfortable in the spiritual realm, was eager to go again as soon as possible. For me, I hesitated as I struggled to collect my thoughts and emotions that seemed strung out over this present creation.

Esther said,

“I know and I knew that really anyway, it’s a given the effect things would have had on you. I just eager gets me all excited God stuff I can’t help myself though, it’s my happy secret place.”

Avoiding the topic I wrote,

“People reacted differently towards me at the supermarket yesterday. One woman looked at me and said something and then later when she met me again in the market remarked, “we just keep bumping into each other!”  I looked into her eyes and it was like her spirit was wide open to me.  Usually, people are shut down but she was like totally transparent.  It is a brave new world for sure”

Esther replied,

“Like no need for social skills or barriers that the psychology world likes you to have.  They just recognize something in you.”

At church, the following day after the experience, Esther said people literally followed her out of the church when she tried to slip our quietly.  They wanted to speak with her even though she never said anything about what happened.

Adjusting to Earth again

A few days later I told Esther I had been having a difficult time adjusting. Esther said,

“It’s like we had that experience and now you wanna avoid going there again, I don’t understand why when getting to your shangri-la is what your wanting…well I’m telling you these experiences and experiments are your stepping stones to it”

I replied,

“You are right Esther, however, just bare in mind that you are asking a person who (figuratively) got mauled by a German shepherd to pet a pit bull. To move forward, I have to overcome a lot of fear and pain. Don’t misunderstand, I am more than willing, but that is why I may seem cautious sometimes. I am not making excuses though, Just giving some perspective so you can understand me better.”

Esther helps

The truth is, that the fear associated with being that close to someone again had been bubbling up for some time.  I was just moving forward in faith and frankly.  Esther is such a sweetheart and so trustworthy, she helps a lot in that department.  This last deep connection experience and its afterglow really rocked my world and I think that raw feeling afterwards got to me a bit.

We began talking about our experiences in life of feeling “out of sync with the natural world.”  Both Esther and I never felt completely comfortable and in this world.  Some people seem to be in love with life and all it has to offer.  However, both of us always felt like we did not fit.

Feeling not of this Earth

As we talked it became apparent that maybe we did not fit in because our destiny was different than being part of this world. What if, say, we had always existed together on the New Heavens and New Earth and our connection was just an echo of that greater reality?

(Que the twilight zone music)

It would explain a lot.  If we, as a spiritual union, existed in a place outside of time where we had already been together then the impression of knowing one another would make more sense. Honestly, when we first met it was not like something new but like something very familiar.  I have assumed it was just the Divine Love of God connecting us in a special way, but perhaps it is something much, much, deeper.

Why do we fear spiritual things?

Of course, this is all speculation.  Esther likes to muse about things and I am always wondering about stuff too.  It is funny how even thinking like this makes me feel like I am treading on”dangerous” ground.  Why can’t I speculate?  What is wrong with doing that?  I think I have just been so conditioned by normative Christianity to suspect anything outside of approved religious experience that I automatically fear anything that seems too far out there.  However, I believe I am going to be raptured someday in a moment in a twinkling of an eye, so why should I think anything is strange?

Spirit led intimacy

The other thing about being in the Spirit with Esther is that, even when our bodies merged I did not feel embarrassed or self conscious.  At one point I felt to reach down into her body and hold her womb, heart, and brain.  I prayed for each organ and just after I did that, before I said anything, Esther said her stomach, heart, and head were doing flip flops.

This showed me, once again, that when you walk in the Spirit you do not fulfill the lusts of your lower nature.  You can be incredibly intimate in the Spirit, yet never think about the male/female dynamic.  I think this is how relationships are in the New Heavens and New Earth.  In fact, spiritual connections are a foretaste of those relationships.

Spiritual connections: a foretaste of the world to come

Men and women, fully restored to their pre-fallen state of sinless perfection will also be stunningly handsome and beautiful.  In that paradise restored, I believe men and women will continue to procreate throughout all eternity.  However, as with everything else in the world to come, our passions will be led by God’s Spirit. We will mate with whomever God chooses.  We will  be intimate with people only to the degree we feel led by the Holy Spirit.  Most people will just be friends.  In some instances, when God chooses, we will mate and bear children according to the will of our Father. At other times, connections may even lay together naked in intimate friendship with no sexual thought whatsoever.

Onwards and upwards

In conclusion, we are planing to get together again and see what God will do. Perhaps we will journey somewhere again or perhaps God will do something else. What is truly exciting to me is the prospect that we may be able to choose where we go.  If that is so, wow, there are some things I really want to see!

God bless,


Fields of Gold by Sting, cover by Keati Melua