Sexually Frustrated Christians In The Age Of Overt Sexuality
Caution:
In this essay, I write about topics that some consider taboo in Christianity. If frank discussions of intimacy bother you, please do not continue reading.
Beloved of the Lord,
Writing about difficult topics takes a lot of sensitivity. On one hand, you desire to convey your meaning clearly, while on the other hand, you don’t want to be unnecessarily crass or confrontational.
I don’t take such topics lightly. In fact, many times I would rather speak about something more conventional. However, my commitment is to allow the Holy Spirit to say what He has on His mind. I think God talks about these things because He knows many are bound by a lack of understanding. Therefore, let God speak and minister His heart and wisdom to us even in this sensitive area.
Intimacy, or the lack thereof, is where we live
The phenomenon of Spiritual Connections between members of the Body of Christ tends to deal with a lot of intimate areas. When you think about it, though, being filled with the Holy Spirit is about as intimate as you can possibly get. God actually dwells inside you, so when you yield to God’s Spirit, He manifests through you from deep within your most private places.
I believe intimacy becomes a big issue because this is where most people live and struggle a lot. Though we are sensual beings, we often suppress our true nature, because we’re told that having such thoughts and urges are sinful. This puts us in a very difficult place of wanting to love and be loved, but told we cannot love as we desire.
God says,
“And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together, and made themselves aprons.”
Genesis 3:7
From that time on, something changed deep inside the human race and we became ashamed of the very thing God made very good; our sexuality.
Our return to innocence not only restores our relationship with God, but also renews our relationship with each other. However, because there is so little information about how God originally made us to be, we have virtually no idea of what pure love is. Therefore, when we begin to experience the “First Love of Eden” it can be quite a shocker.
Eden, a garden of sensuous delights
I came to find out, through experiencing Divine Love and Spiritual Connections, that God is extremely sensuous. This is disquieting to most, for normal Christian doctrine teaches us that purity is the lack of sexuality, not the embracing of it. Some Christians even believe that sex is only for procreation and that having no sex at all, like a nun or a priest, is very holy. However, that is not even remotely how God created us to live.
The original Garden of Eden was a place of sensual delights. Everything was vibrant and alive with God permeating all of it. Adam was impossibly handsome and Eve more beautiful than we can imagine. The first man and woman made love often. Moreover, God united with them both when they joined together in Divine Ecstasy.
God says to Adam and Eve,
“And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.
Genesis 1:28
In other words, be intimate and bring forth children. Literally, God’s first commandment was to have sex with a Divine Mate. Therefore, our desire to make love is God-given and primary to our nature. In fact, our urge to procreate has to be annulled with a special gift, like the apostle Paul, to be free of it. Therefore, don’t fight it, just learn how God really wants you to express it.
The Tabernacles Experience and Christian sensuality
Becoming one with God restores us to our pre-fallen state. Innocence returns as we revert to how God originally created us. The sticking point for many, who begin to experience God’s Divine Love, is that Divine Love is very sexy. Therefore, as we become one with YHWH we feel erotic to an extent that we never imagined possible. As all man-made barriers begin to fade we are Spirit led to be one with God and each other.
There seems to be some things Christians just don’t talk about. However, pretending they don’t exist doesn’t make them not exist. One of these areas is the manifestation of Divine Love in our bodies as we love God and each other. Many, who draw close to YHWH, are physically aroused and feel their senses heightened in every aspect. The presence of God envelops them like a thick liquid, akin to the anointing oil rolling down David’s beard. You feel God and respond to Him with sensations of love that are normally associated with sexuality.
The questions some have at this time are:
“Is my love carnal? What is happening to me? Why do I want to hold the sister next to me? Why do I have this overwhelming desire to kiss that brother across the room? What is wrong with me? Am I sinning?”
These and other thoughts race through our minds when we encounter God’s Divine love for each other. The desire to be physically intimate seems so pure and holy, yet runs so counter to everything we’ve been taught.
At the same time, the desire to kiss, hold, or caress doesn’t make us feel like we want to have sex. In the past, when we were that desirous of another, it automatically led to intercourse, but now being close to one another is just an expression of our heart of love. It is all astonishing and can be very confusing.
All turned on and in a holy place before God
Moreover, women sometimes become physically “turned on” during high praise in worship services. Their bodies mirror what is happening in the heavenlies which is “Holy Consummation.” I have witnessed women cumming under the Holy Spirit and it is both an intense and very sacred event.
There is nothing wrong with this sort of thing if led by God’s Spirit, it is just that we’re taught it’s wrong and shameful. However, if we are the Bride of Christ, at some point we will experience His overwhelming presence and react in kind.
Unfortunately, we live in an overtly sexual age
We live in what I call the age of “weaponized sexuality“. Erotica permeates our culture. Sexual sin is lauded as freedom and vice is idolized as social progress. Given the misuse of sex by the ungodly, it is little wonder that Christians want no part of it.
However, many Christians are sexually frustrated. In fact, many saints burn with passion daily and don’t know what to do with it. Though they don’t want to sin, the desire for physical love is so great that they cannot contain it. It is almost like believers are caught between a rock and a hard place.
Abishag is a picture of the Bride of Christ
The Shulamite in the Song of Solomon was a beauty. Solomon’s intended was gorgeous and she knew it. Her romance with the King had one goal in mind: Knowing him fully in every possible way. The Song of Songs, which incidentally is in the middle of the Bible, is highly erotic.
We are entering the time of the greater Abishag. God desires us and we desire Him. We want to know God intimately, not just learn about Him. The fact is, the way that God romances His Bride is by loving us through one another. The point of the Bride of Christ is for God to have union with us. This means we will have union with one another as God leads: These are call Divine Mates. The core of the perfected church is such unions that are joined by YHWH.
Bringing it all together
So, what does this all mean for you? Well, it means that you have to realize God wants you to loosen up and let Him lead and guide you in the area of intimacy. Intimacy is not synonymous with sex and you can be close to anyone whom God desires to love without sinning in your heart, mind, or body.
Moreover, loving another believer is not up to you but it is up to the Holy Spirit. If God wants you to hold a sister or a brother in the Lord, that is really His business. As servants of the Most High, we should give way to His will and manifest His Spirit in whatever way He desires.
The truth is that your body, heart, and soul reacts to Divine Love pretty much as it does to natural love, just without lust and shame attached to it. The desire to kiss someone, no matter how intimately, doesn’t lead to intercourse unless that is the will of God. Our expression of heavenly love goes only so far as the Holy Spirit leads and is not selfish in any way.
But what about sex!
Sex is always to be led by the Spirit, too. This means that you will not have sex with another believer unless God wants that to happen. The fact is that intercourse only happens if God wants you to mate for life. Promiscuity is not a part of spiritual connections, because they just don’t want to make love unless God specifically leads them to do that. God doesn’t do that unless He wants them to be Divine Mates forever.
The Holy Spirit is really the best chaperone in the world. It is just that the world’s viewpoint about purity is not necessarily what the Holy Spirit thinks is holy. As led by His Spirit, you can be very intimate with another and it not be sin, whereas if you did that with a man or a woman without God’s leading you would be sinning. As Paul says, “to the pure, all things are pure”.
Don’t freak out, innocence is easier than you think
People tend to freak out at the thought of such freedom, especially in the area of intimacy. After having been constrained by rules and regulations all our lives, having complete freedom in the Holy Spirit seems scary. Believers get a bad case of the “what ifs” when they consider that saved people can be loving towards each other during a worship service. To many, their natural minds go all the way to imagining Roman orgies happening in church. In a way, I suppose that is not far from the truth, because the scriptures do speak of “love feasts”.
However, in a Spirit-led love feast, no one is having sex indiscriminately and no one is using or abusing someone else for their own pleasure. People are simply loving each other as the Holy Spirit leads and going no further. Everything in a real, scriptural love feast is done decently and in order according to the will of the Holy Spirit.
Christians do not need to be sexually frustrated
In the restoration of all things, of which we have a foretaste now through His Spirit, no one is sexually frustrated. God meets everyone’s need through others according to their true, God-ordained sensual natures.
Here on earth, while we are yet waiting for His soon coming, God meets our physical, emotional, and spiritual needs in a similar fashion. YHWH removes man-made barriers and we freely love as He intended. No one is sexually frustrated or goes without anymore. Divine mates are available to all who desire, by His Spirit, to have one. Saints no longer feel they are unloved or unlovely, because God loves everyone fully through His body of believers. Amen.
Dear Michael,
Many people are frustrated and therefore it is important!
A large part of our society has become more open as far as the topic of sex is concerned. The rest is still mired in the old attitude that sexuality is not polite to talk about. And then many are convinced that Christians cannot be sexy and please God too. They think that such things are Nonsense!
However, many limit God in this area and they think God is not interested in erotic things. I believe in God though, and I think He can to anything when it comes to loving us. I think many dont understand whats going in and with God when it comes to loving our Lord through each other.
I say, “God is really proud of sex, He took a lot of time to make it, therefore why would not He want to be invloved in what He created?
God made us so that He could live in us. Also He made us sensual and we should praise Him for that gift.
Everything we do happens because God wants it happen.
Amen
God bless you
Rita
Lieber Michael, ein großer Teil unserer Gesellschaft ist schon offener geworden was das Thema Sex an geht. Der Rest ist noch verbohrt in den alten Haltung das sie Sex für nicht erwähnenswert hält. Hinzu kommt das diese restliche Menschheit der Überzeugung ist das es nicht Durchschnitt geschehen kann das ist laut denen Nonsens. Wo aber wären wir ohne Gott? Er gab und was wir brauchen Liebe Sex und was wir sonst noch brauchen um uns ihm hinzu geben.
Dear Beloved,
I was just listening to Sia’s “Helium” song. It strikes me so forcefully, that people who may or may not know God are nevertheless singing about Him. While most people may think that this song is about a woman needing a strong man once in a while, I submit to you that it is really about the human race needing God. This music resonates with people because it is fundamentally true in a way that not many understand.
Moreover, why does this world get true artistic freedom to express anything and everything exactly the way they want, but Christians are restricted to a narrow band of appropriateness? Appropriate by whose definition?
Here is a truth,
HARDLY ANY REAL LIFE TAKES PLACE WITHIN THE CHURCHES NARROW BAND OF THE APPROPRIATE
God bless,
Michael
I am 61, and all of my adult life, I have avoided intimacy with others. I have always had an issue with that. I was not abused, or anything, I just have always been a person who just doesn’t enjoy close intimate touching and all that. But, I have had periods of my life that sexual needs have had me very frustrated, and self pleasure leaves me feeling guilty. After menopause, for a while, I didn’t even think about it, but for some reason, it is back, and here I am again. What do I do with this?
Dear Nefret,
Thank you for your candid comment! We appreciate your openness, as you are undoubtedly not the only one who struggles with this type of thing.
I believe all men and women are created with a desire to be open and intimate, first with their creator, and second with the divine mate of God’s choosing. What happens in most of our lives to close us off to that (especially women) varies from person to person, but in essence it is an attack of the enemy to rob us of the freedom and pleasure God created us to have.
My suggestion to you is two-fold. First, assuming you are a believer, I would encourage you to press in to your intimate relationship with Christ. You are His bride, and He is your husband and, as Michael explained in the article above, there is an intimacy He desires with you that He intends to satisfy you with. Don’t allow feelings of guilt and shame to prevent you from giving yourself totally to your Savior and Lover, however He leads you, because His desire is to love you and meet your needs.
Second, I would encourage you to ask God to bring you your divine mate. If God is stirring these desires in you, it could be that He is preparing you for the lifetime and eternal person He has destined for you.
Also, realize that the age and season of life of your physical body has absolutely no bearing on what God wants to work in you spiritually. Intimacy is first and foremost a spiritual act. It was written by God for men and women on earth as a means for Him to enjoy them and them to enjoy Him. Beginning your journey of intimacy and satisfaction now is a beautiful thing, and God wants you to enjoy Him and whoever He may decide to bring to you – but it is a spiritual experience first, and anything physical between you and a divine mate He may bring to you is just the “icing on the cake” so to speak.
Praying He continues to lead you, Nefret, and removes the guards in your heart and spirit so you can experience the oneness with Jesus that He desires to have with you, and feel and know His incredible love for you, and then use you to express that love to the one who He chooses to unite you with.
God’s love and blessings on you!